Need your editation for my essay
Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 2:15 pm
Hi all,
Please edit this essay for me. I hope it will have an improvement comparing to my first essay. In addition, I must say that it is more difficult writing on the paper than typing in the computer. Thanks.
Task 2 topic: More and more people move from areas where they grew up to find jobs. Does this development have advantages and disadvantages? ( this is essay from our forum)
Choosing a suitable career is the most critical decisions in the life. Nowadays, there are many people developing their jobs in the outside location rather than at their hometown. This could lead to particular positive and negative changes of their lives. This essay will discuss both sides of view from this trend.
First advantage of working outside is that the external environment creates more opportunities to attract workers. This could be higher positions or better salaries. Every year, companies like Google and Microsoft have offered extremely large profits for potential candidatures in the recruitment. Therefore, many engineers around the world applied for the job. In addition, many people choose to work outside because of their family benefits. The new life can be valuable for their child’s education and the new employment position is particularly suitable for them than the job at their hometown.
In contrast, there are critical disadvantages for the people who work outside their home area. Firstly, people with a language problem are unlikely communicated with the society. Their life is isolated with external sociality and hard to adapt with the variety of cultures. Therefore, they may serious be affected by the homesick and the isolated issue. Furthermore, the language problem creates a difficulty for working with staffs in the company. Thus, it may separate their work with other people and will be result in negative effects to the successes of the job. Even, many regions which do not accept the outside workers are due to the limitation of languages.
In conclusion, developing the work outside the home town has always faced two sides. It could be right or wrong choices depending on the certain life of each person and family.
(283 words)
Please edit this essay for me. I hope it will have an improvement comparing to my first essay. In addition, I must say that it is more difficult writing on the paper than typing in the computer. Thanks.
Task 2 topic: More and more people move from areas where they grew up to find jobs. Does this development have advantages and disadvantages? ( this is essay from our forum)
Choosing a suitable career is the most critical decisions in the life. Nowadays, there are many people developing their jobs in the outside location rather than at their hometown. This could lead to particular positive and negative changes of their lives. This essay will discuss both sides of view from this trend.
First advantage of working outside is that the external environment creates more opportunities to attract workers. This could be higher positions or better salaries. Every year, companies like Google and Microsoft have offered extremely large profits for potential candidatures in the recruitment. Therefore, many engineers around the world applied for the job. In addition, many people choose to work outside because of their family benefits. The new life can be valuable for their child’s education and the new employment position is particularly suitable for them than the job at their hometown.
In contrast, there are critical disadvantages for the people who work outside their home area. Firstly, people with a language problem are unlikely communicated with the society. Their life is isolated with external sociality and hard to adapt with the variety of cultures. Therefore, they may serious be affected by the homesick and the isolated issue. Furthermore, the language problem creates a difficulty for working with staffs in the company. Thus, it may separate their work with other people and will be result in negative effects to the successes of the job. Even, many regions which do not accept the outside workers are due to the limitation of languages.
In conclusion, developing the work outside the home town has always faced two sides. It could be right or wrong choices depending on the certain life of each person and family.
(283 words)