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Please criticize and provide me a feedback

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 3:58 pm
by Ieltscrazy
Some people believe children should be given independence, while others think that they should be restricted. What is your opinion?


Many people have different opinion about whether kids should be given freedom or should be strictly controlled. Both sides have strong arguments which will be discussed below in this essay.

On the one hand, there are individuals who opine that these young kids must have right to the freedom. They assert their opinion on the basis of two main reasons. The first reason is that if children have sense of freedom then their mind would be developed positively and they would be more creative. For instance, a recent research conducted in Australia revealed that out of the 100 independent children surveyed, 90 of them were very creative in their chosen areas such as music, sports, arts and sciences. However, on the contrary, only 20 out of 100 kids who were strictly supervised by their parents turned out to be creative in their chosen fields. The second reason is that a free and independent child is likely to be healthier than their opposite counterparts. This is because, a free child usually doesn't have mental stress, and is likely to go outdoor and enjoy active lifestyle rather than a restricted kid, who is not allowed to go out and play frequently.

On the other hand, some parents believe their children should be controlled and not allowed to make their own decisions or choices. They argue that if kids are not prohibited on anything then they might fall into bad habits like drug use, smoking and alcohol, which will ruin their lives. As an example, many street kids in India get addicted to drugs, alcohols and other toxic substances because they are not monitored and controlled by anyone, in other words, they are free to do whatever they like and which in time can cost their lives. In addition, parents are able to teach discipline and good manners to their kids when they are controlled and supervised. In future, these kids are likely to be disciplined which will not only make them good persons, but also responsible citizens.

In conclusion, I believe that regardless of some advantages of limiting children, their freedom is what they require to be a creative and healthy individuals.