TASK 1(Academic)- I need your comments
Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 5:56 pm
The line graph illustrates the use of water around the world by three sectors: Agriculture, Industrial use, and Domestic use, while the table shows the water use in Brazil and Democratic Republic in Congo. Overall, Agriculture use more water compared to other sectors and Brazil used more water consumption in year 2000.
To begin, Agriculture showed a slight increase of global water consumption between 1900 to 1940 with 500 Km3 to 1,000 Km3. It grew dramatically during the 1950 to 2000, at 3,000 Km3. However, Industrial use grew steadily during the same years with only 20 Km3 approximately and slowly increase by the year 2000 at 600 Km3. Domestic use end up last with slowed increased starting the year up to year 2000 with 100 Km3.
In the table, Brazil have the highest used of water compared to Congo since the population have 176 million, irrigated land have 26, 500 km2, and water consumption per person is 359 m3 while Congo only used 8 m3 per person. Population and irrigated land of Brazil outnumbered the Congo more than half.
****I need your comments how to make my writing score reach band 7**********
To begin, Agriculture showed a slight increase of global water consumption between 1900 to 1940 with 500 Km3 to 1,000 Km3. It grew dramatically during the 1950 to 2000, at 3,000 Km3. However, Industrial use grew steadily during the same years with only 20 Km3 approximately and slowly increase by the year 2000 at 600 Km3. Domestic use end up last with slowed increased starting the year up to year 2000 with 100 Km3.
In the table, Brazil have the highest used of water compared to Congo since the population have 176 million, irrigated land have 26, 500 km2, and water consumption per person is 359 m3 while Congo only used 8 m3 per person. Population and irrigated land of Brazil outnumbered the Congo more than half.
****I need your comments how to make my writing score reach band 7**********