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Topic: Somepeople believe that students should always learn in agroup rather than study individually. Do you agree or not?
It is a highly debate issue whether learners should study in a group or individually. From my point of view, it is better for students to learn alone for several reasons.
One of the most advantages in studying individually is that learners are likely to pay much attention to the lesson. In fact, being alone they might avoid any distractions such as gossips or jokes from other partners. For example, someone who studies in a group usually discuss some problems which do not relate to their lesson. As a result, it is easier to realize that these students seem not to take any advantages from the group like that. Additionally, because different people have different ideas, a great deal of confusion can be created and learners will find hard to choose the best knowledge they want to perceive
Another benefit from this strategy is that most learners might feel more comfortable. It is reasonable to say that studying in their own way helps students to choose what they are favoured in terms of time and place. If you spend most time studying English at home by yourself, you can do exercises and practice any time what is appropriate for your schedule. Furthermore, it is difficult for every member in a group to have the most appropriate arrangement because of different timetable. In contrast, there are not any factors which prevent your study when having your own schedule.
In general, it seems that more benefits are likely to be shown in studying individually. I believe that we should find the best way to study effective in our own ways.
Which band can I get?

It is a highly debatable ( or 'debated') issue whether learners should study themselves or in a group. From my point of view, it is better for students to learn alone for several reasons.

One of the most advantages in studying individually is that learners are likely to pay full attention to the lessons. In fact, being alone, they might avoid any distractions such as gossips or jokes from other partners. For example, someone who studies in a group usually discuss some problems which do not relate to their lesson. this example is very general statement,instead if use personal like ( For example, when I was studying in a group for my university exams , there was always some people who talk personal story and distract other students as well. As a result, it is easier to realize that these students seem not to take any advantages from the group study. Beides, withe the different ideas form different students, , a great deal of confusion can be created, and so learners will find hard to choose the best way to learn subjects

here , the topic sentence is about benefits of individual study but you have examples on drawback of group study, so keep examples to the topic sentence

Another benefit from this strategy is that most learners might feel more comfortable when they study themselves because they can choose their own place, time and way of studying. For instance, If you spend time in studying English at home by yourself, you can do plenty of exercises and practice speaking at any time according to our convenience. In the meantime, it is difficult for every member in a group to have such arrangement when they study in a group because of different time schedules. remove "In contrast, there are not any factors which prevent your study when having your own schedule."

From this essay,, it seems that there are more benefits od studying individually. I believe that all students will find their best way to study effectively.



well, you have framed some structure, but there are many mistakes with grammar and sentence formation, read many essays as possible and try to put that in writing.

the above would be band 5.5 to 6 ( I am not an assessor)