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Please correct my essay


Some people argue that cars should be banned in city centers while others are against this idea. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

In today’s world, use of cars for commuting in cities is ever increasing. This can be seen by the sheer number of cars in city centers. The argument that cars should be banned from entering city centers is a subject that is both supported and refuted by many. Both sides of this argument will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.

Firstly, It is clear that today cars are inherent part of any modern-day family and to find a household without a cars would be next to impossible. A recent survey result proves this point, every 8 out of 10 household owns a car in cities. Therefore, the possibility of families not using cars in cities is very bleak. Because of this it is clear why the argument that cars should not be banned from city center has extended support.

However, on the other side of this argument cities are facing environmental & health problems with the increased use of automobiles. For instance, pollution levels in cities are dramatically increasing day by day and this has resulted in many health related issues to the residents, also WHO confirms that 3 out of 10 living in city suffer from serious health problems. Thus, this makes it clear that why the idea of banning cars from city center is plausible.

In summary, both sides of the argument regarding the possibility of ban on cars from city streets has strong support. However, after analyzing both these points of view it is felt that one should give preference to a healthier society over convenience and ban cars from city streets. As such, it is predicted that governments around the world will consider the problems associated with the usage of cars and will make laws to ban cars from city centers.

so we are on the same boat!

we both took tests on the same dates and going to take on the same date again! That is 09 Nov 2013.

In which country you are appearing?

listen carefully the questions asked, the form of question, past present future. you answer should be in the same format.
for the cue card, if you are telling an old story, keep all the verbs in past, unless you mention something /point for future.
speak atleast 150 - 200 words for cue card.

BR
Delvy

Someone please correct my essay

npr.ielts7 wrote:Hello Friends,
Please correct my essay


Some people argue that cars should be banned in city centers while others are against this idea. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

In today’s world, use of cars for commuting in cities is ever increasing. This can be seen by the sheer number of cars in city centers. The argument that cars should be banned from entering city centers is a subject that is both supported and refuted by many. Both sides of this argument will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.

Firstly, It is clear that today cars are inherent part of any modern-day family and to find a household without a cars would be next to impossible. A recent survey result proves this point, every 8 out of 10 household owns a car in cities. Therefore, the possibility of families not using cars in cities is very bleak. Because of this it is clear why the argument that cars should not be banned from city center has extended support.

However, on the other side of this argument cities are facing environmental & health problems with the increased use of automobiles. For instance, pollution levels in cities are dramatically increasing day by day and this has resulted in many health related issues to the residents, also WHO confirms that 3 out of 10 living in city suffer from serious health problems. Thus, this makes it clear that why the idea of banning cars from city center is plausible.

In summary, both sides of the argument regarding the possibility of ban on cars from city streets has strong support. However, after analyzing both these points of view it is felt that one should give preference to a healthier society over convenience and ban cars from city streets. As such, it is predicted that governments around the world will consider the problems associated with the usage of cars and will make laws to ban cars from city centers.

without a cars = i don't think you can use the article 'a' for plural things. it should be a car or just cars

this makes it clear that why the idea = "that" should be omitted

- you sometimes forget to use punctuation. ex. Because of this, it is clear why the argument
For instance, pollution levels in cities are dramatically increasing day by day, and this has resulted in many health related issues to the resident (you should put a comma before a conjuction in compound sentences)



Because of this it is clear why the argument that cars should not be banned from city center has extended support. - is a bit confusing. I guess it is better to say. "The reason why some people support this argument is therefore clear."

For instance, pollution levels in cities are dramatically increasing day by day and this has resulted in many health related issues to the residents, also WHO confirms that 3 out of 10 living in city suffer from serious health problems. = I think you can break this sentence. For instance, pollution levels in cities are dramatically increasing day by day, and this has resulted in many health related issues to the residents. In fact, WHO confirms that 3 out of 10 living in city suffer from serious health problems