task1 a chart about heart attacks in the US
Posted: Wed May 21, 2014 12:24 pm
Hello everybody
this is my first post here
i've written a report for task 1 acadimic IELTS ,
Could you please take a look and give me some notes if you have
thanks!
The task:
my writing:
This bar graph provides statistics regarding the number of heart attacks cases in USA assorted by a patient’s age and gender within an age group consisting of ages 29 to over 65 per year.
It can be clearly seen that the lowest rate of heart attacks occurs among younger patents in an age of 29 to just under 45. Whereas the number is more developed among elders from 45 to over 65. , One’s can observe that numbers are quite relative when comparing heart attacks happening within those who aged above 45 and those who exceeded their middle sixty’s .
Another considerable comparison aspect is men and women correlation in term of numbers. For instance, a gap of more than one hundred thousand cases between men and women in ages from nearly 30 to 45 approximate. Similarly, another huge gap of nearly 300 thousand heart attack cases yearly.
To sum up with, heart attack rates are high , especially in older people. The number of cases varies considerably from men to women .
this is my first post here
i've written a report for task 1 acadimic IELTS ,
Could you please take a look and give me some notes if you have
thanks!
The task:
my writing:
This bar graph provides statistics regarding the number of heart attacks cases in USA assorted by a patient’s age and gender within an age group consisting of ages 29 to over 65 per year.
It can be clearly seen that the lowest rate of heart attacks occurs among younger patents in an age of 29 to just under 45. Whereas the number is more developed among elders from 45 to over 65. , One’s can observe that numbers are quite relative when comparing heart attacks happening within those who aged above 45 and those who exceeded their middle sixty’s .
Another considerable comparison aspect is men and women correlation in term of numbers. For instance, a gap of more than one hundred thousand cases between men and women in ages from nearly 30 to 45 approximate. Similarly, another huge gap of nearly 300 thousand heart attack cases yearly.
To sum up with, heart attack rates are high , especially in older people. The number of cases varies considerably from men to women .