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TASK 2! HELP ME IMMEDIATELY

Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 4:51 pm
by aprodigy
Topic: There are many festivals in many cultures such as Children Day or Christmas . What are effects of those festivals?
In today’s world, while the pace of life is faster and faster, it is true that the number of festivals is on the increase. There can not be doubt that several effects are created from those celebrations, in my opinion
It is clear that these celebrations have a crucial effect on individual in our daily life. As a matter of the fact, organizing festivals brings a large number of benefits for local residents. In a little more detail, these people seem to have good chances to exchange traditional products with other people from other areas. For example, in my hometown, Green Tea Festival helps manufacturers to introduce widely their tea products to more and more customers. Furthermore, it is necessary for people to enjoy their life in festivals with fascinating activities. Both the young and the adults might choose to do any activities they want in the festival; therefore, their knowledge is likely to be broadened with a view to local products which some people even have never known before.
Other effect of festivals is to symbolize the feature of traditional customs of each different country in the world. Obviously, these celebrations are considered as important event annually of each area. Therefore, they do not maintain the cultural values but also attract new investments for tourism and economy. Without holding celebrations, surely the unique of traditional characteristics could not be known and understood. Furthermore, it is beneficial for government to reinforce the relationship with other areas regarding cultures and social issues.
In general, it is felt that festivals such as Christmas’s Day or Children Day play an inevitable part in our society. Not only individual but also society take advantage of these festivals when they are organized in certain areas.

Re: TASK 2! HELP ME IMMEDIATELY

Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 5:54 pm
by durai
In today’s world, while the pace of life is faster and faster, what is the connection between pace of life and increase in festivals, and how festivals can increase every year, it is true that the number of festivals is on the increase. There is no doubt that there are several effects from those celebrations, in my opinion 'in my opinion' cannot at last by itself

It is clear 'clear' is inappropriate , use 'agreed' instead that these celebrations have a crucial effect on individuals in their daily life. As a matter of the fact, celebrating festivals bring a large number of benefits for local residents. One of these is thatpeople seem to have good chances to exchange traditional products with other people from other areas. For example, in my hometown, better write your town and country name to sound realistic Green Tea Festival helps manufacturers to introduce their tea products to more and more customers. Furthermore, it is necessary for people to enjoy their life in festivals with fascinating activities. Both the young and the adults might choose to do any activities they want in the festival; therefore, their knowledge is likely to be broadened with a view to local products which some people even have never known before. ideas are not interconnected, lacks coherence, ideas flow illogically

Other effects of festivals is to symbolize the feature of traditional customs of each different country in the world. Obviously, these celebrations are considered as important event annually of each area. Therefore, they do not maintain the cultural values but also attract new investments for tourism and economy. Without holding celebrations, surely the unique of traditional characteristics could not be known and understood. Furthermore, it is beneficial for government to reinforce the relationship with other areas regarding cultures and social issues. again unclear [paragraph

In general, it is felt that festivals such as Christmas’s Day or Children Day play an inevitable part in our society. Not only individual but also society take advantage of these festivals when they are organized in certain areas.


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Overall this essay demonstrates band 5 to 5.5 ( I am not an assessor)