Page 1 of 1

Please review my task 2 essay

Posted: Thu May 15, 2014 2:15 pm
by mahendran
Question:
Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people lives.Others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Answer:
In recent days, many people believe that teenage life and adulthood life are the happiest moments in their life in spite of doing their important responsibilities. This essay will discuss about both adulthood and teenagers life.
On the one hand, some people prefer that teenage years are the beautiful and unforgettable moments of most people’s lives. Because we could not forget any things that we have good memory capacity in teenage life and enjoy our lives. Not only we enjoy the sports, but also do education. Due to parents and teachers suggestion, we did our best. For instance, when I was studying tenth standard I concentrated only on education as well as sports. My teacher always suggested me to get good marks in final exam. Although I listened my studies as well as my sports also that I contributed in N CC (National cadet corp.), volley ball and cricket. Therefore it gives energy to students and be enthusiastic person. It is reflected in teenage boys and girls. I enjoyed in both sports and education that really enjoy my life at teenage life.
On the other hand, some people suggest that adulthood age is very happiest moment in their life. Because we grown up as a man and we know what we are going to do that we can take decision by own. For example, my friend started his business at the age of twenty with bank loan that he succeeded his business.Hence, he helped others to the way of giving job opportunity and he is very happy. If he was not start the business, he never gives the job opportunity to anyone.
To sum up, this essay clearly shows that, there are happiest moments in both teenage and adulthood ages. Just we should allow them to enjoy their life with fulfilling their responsibilities.

Re: Please review my task 2 essay

Posted: Thu May 15, 2014 3:09 pm
by durai
In recent days, many people believe that teenage life remove "life " and adulthood life are the happiest moments in their life in spite of their responsibilities. This essay will discuss about both adulthood and teenagers life.

On the one hand, some people argue that teenage years are the remove the beautiful and have unforgettable moments of most people’s lives. Because we could not forget any things that we have good memory capacity in teenage life and enjoy our lives. Not only we enjoy the sports, but also do education. Due to parents and teachers suggestion, we did our best. For instance, when I was studying tenth standard I concentrated only on education as well as sports. My teacher always suggested me to get good marks in final exam. Although I listened my studies as well as my sports also that I contributed in N CC (National cadet corp.), volley ball and cricket. Therefore it gives energy to students and be enthusiastic person. It is reflected in teenage boys and girls. I enjoyed in both sports and education that really enjoy my life at teenage life. you are not clear in your point, here you need to say why teenager is the happiest moment

you could say,

1. no need to work,
2. less responsibilities,
3. can do anything we want
4. go anywhere we like

actually, you have to say something you cannot get as a adulthood


On the other hand, some people suggest that adulthood age is very happiest moment in their life. Because we grown up as a man and we know what we are going to do that we can take decision by own. For example, my friend started his business at the age of twenty with bank loan and he succeeded in his business.Hence, he helped others by giving job opportunity and now he is very happy and satisfied. If he did not start the business, he would never gives the job to anyone. again, off topic, you have to convince why many people believe that adulthood is happiest than teenage,

To sum up, this essay clearly shows that, there are happiest moments in both teenage and adulthood ages. Just we should allow them to enjoy their life with fulfilling their responsibilities.

although you have answered question in an indirect way, your response wasn't appropriate for the task.

basic grammar errors and lack of CC ,

overall band 5 to 5.5 ( i am not an assessor)


Good luck with your exams

Durai