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Please , check my task 2 work

Posted: Sat May 03, 2014 9:36 am
by Mayuri patel
Essay topic - Today more people are travelling than ever before.
Why is this case?
What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
In the present era, the travelling industry is growing owing to the improvement in the means of transportation. There are many options to move easily and rapidly too many destinations via, buses, trains, air, as well as through private cars. There are many reasons why it occurs.
First and foremost, the cost of travelling is reduced ; convent for the middle class family due to cut throat competition in the market among travelling companies. To survive they offered packages at low coast with the hotel booking inbuilt with the lunch and dinner. A relevant example over here is, one of my relative plan their summer holidays in May and consultant many travell agent and after taking review from all they chose one agency who offered a package including the facility of car to move any places at their destination.
However, there are many profits we gain by choosing a good travell agent. Firstly, we don't have to search for a well know hotel during our stay, we just have to give only information about the facility that we need and our budget. Secondly,they offer a tour guide to go for sight seeing , so we are free to go all the famous placeses of their particular area. Finally, we also devour a hygenic food of our taste during our holidays. For instance, I enjoyed a lot during my tour to Singapore by taking the help from ' Eezee go ' agency and I suggest all my friends to make their trips with these agency .
In a conclusion, the above mentioned reasons reveals that why many people are travelling both locally and internationally for leisure and for business.

Re: Please , check my task 2 work

Posted: Sat May 03, 2014 1:18 pm
by durai
In the present era, the travelling industry is growing due to the improvement in the means of transport. There are many options to move easily and rapidly to many destinations via buses, trains, air, as well as through private cars. There are many reasons why it occurs. you didn't outline the second question, this may lack clarity of your essay

First and foremost, the cost of travelling is reduced due to cut throat competition in the market among travelling companies and make affordable for the middle class family . To survive these travel agents offered packages at low cost with various benefits such as accommodation, lunch and dinner. A relevant example is when one of my relatives plan their summer holidays in May, and consulted many travel agents. After taking review from them,they chose an agency who offered a package including the facility of car to move any places at their destination. sentence structures are bit awkward, go through ielts essays

However, there are many profits we gain by choosing a good travel agent. wrong topic senetence, here you should mention what are the benefits for traveler who travelling Firstly, we don't have to search for a well know hotel during our stay, we just have to give only information about the facility that we need and our budget. Secondly,they offer a tour guide to go for sight seeing , so we are free to go all the famous places of their particular area. Finally, we also devour a hygenic food of our taste during our holidays. For instance, I enjoyed a lot during my tour to Singapore by taking the help from ' Eezee go ' agency and I suggest all my friends to make their trips with these agency . this passage is entirely off topic, try to write again

In a conclusion, the above mentioned reasons reveals that why many people are travelling both locally and internationally here, u didn't mention anything about overseas travel, so its new information for leisure and for business.


partly answered the question so task response is not more than band 5.

sentence structure is weak and poor control on grammar, so band 5.

overall looks band 5 to 5.5

try to rewrite while keeping to the topic.