Please benchmark my Letter with band 9

[saqibali]

You were hurt in a minor accident inside a super market and you wish to complain to the supermarket
Say who you are
Give details about the accident
Suggest how supermarket could prevent similar accidents

Dear Manager,
I am writing to explain an unpleasant accident, I encountered when I visited your market last week. Please allow me to explain the happening and suggest a preventive measure.
My name is Arif and I am resident of your area. I am employed as a supervisor in downtown.
Last weekend, I decided to take advantage of summer sales at your supermarket. Though, the market is well decorated and carefully designed, the entrance is not properly led up to mark it a safe passage. As a result, I could not notice the mirror wall and my head collided with it with full forward force. My forehead started bleeding. The security guards at duty rescued me and provided me with required first medical aid.
I kindly request to you to lid the area properly so that any other customer do not face the same problem. Such a measure would enhance safety of visitors and hence your sales.
I hope my suggestion will be paid full attention.
Regards,
XYZ