Please benchmark my Letter with band 9

[saqibali]

Write a letter to colleague, explaining him why he should choose your accommodation and why you are leaving?

Dear Arif,
I am writing to propose you my accommodation as I am leaving the city permanently. Please allow me to elaborate in details.
You see, I got a new job offer from Kochi, 55 kilometers away. As you can imagine, it’s quite difficult for me to travel from my current accommodation to new office location on a daily basis. Therefore, I have decided to quit this accommodation and rent a new one near to my office. Hence, I do not need this house anymore.
As you are aware that I spent hefty amount of money on decoration and renovation of my current house. It’s very attractive and well appreciated house by nearby community. Since, I built this house for myself, its very strong and beautiful. Since it’s near to our current office, it’s an ideal place for you to live in. In addition, it’s on a walking distance from your office. I highly recommend you to consider it for your accommodation.

Waiting your response on the above.
XYZ