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Junnie97 wrote:Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology .In what ways technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a negative or positive development ?

Technology has increasingly changed people's lifestyles all around the world - especially the way they form relationships. It is argued that this has been a positive rather than negative development . This(< argument) will be proven by analyzing how individuals can keep in touch with their loved ones and how they form new relationships through technology.

Firstly, technology has opened up a new range of equipment, such as computers and smartphones, with which people can use to connect with their loved ones. For instance, it provides access to approach (< delete)the internet, which includes social network, email etc,to allow people to exchange messages to another (< delete) without spending time writing letters as many people did before. This shows that people just(< delete) interact with each other in different ways by means of technological development. As a result, it can be seen that using technology for communicating is a positive development. (< you should strengthen your point by saying that technology saves time)

Furthermore, technology has changed the way people form new relationships as well. Take online dating as an example. In the past, to find a compatible soul mate, (< a soul mate would be compatible by nature. So either say "find a soul mate" or "find a compatible partner") a boy had to go outdoors. But now, he just has to sit in front of a computer, browsing for a girlfriend through onine dating websites, such as Okcupid.com,.... (< don't use repeated dots like this in a formal piece of writing. Full stop here)Therefore, suffice to say that it has given people chances to connect with people and make new relationships effortlessly. (< Not necessarily. Dating online has other challenges. For example, it can be challenging for a man to to get replies to his messages. He has to be funny and entertaining solely through his writing - without the aid of body language - to make a good first impression. A lot of women, especially if they have an attractive photo, will receive a large volume of messages. She therefore has to select the best. It is also easier for her to reject a man online than face-to-face. This rejection might be hasty since it could be that his written communication is poor, but is otherwise compatible to her. So I would not describe online dating as effortless; it takes work too. The value of online dating lies in the ease of finding opportunities, compared to going out to bars etc and hoping to meet someone compatible.) Thus, it is difficult to debunk technology as having a negative effect on making and keeping relationships. (< I think you need to offer examples to back up your point here. You need to define "negative effect")

After analyzing such reasons, it can be concluded that technology has been a positive development rather than a negative one. Moreover, it is expected that technology will provide more and more services for forming relationships in the future.

Overall, I think this needs more work. Do more research and give more examples in order to make a more convincing case. Be careful with grammar. I am not qualified to say which band score you would get but I don't think your essay would do well, as it is now. Hope this helps!



Please give me feedbacks and let me know what band score i can get. Thank you