Please asses task 2

[jegankgm]

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways to dealing with the poor.

What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped?
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In the modern world, unfortunately all citizens are not having similar lifestyle. Even in developed countries, significant number of people are living under below the poverty line. This essay is an attempt to analyse core cause of this issue and suggest possible solutions.

Admittedly, unequal distribution of wealth is the main cause of poverty. This is mainly due to some rich and greedy people want to become more and more richer, they corrupt the system and secure most part of wealth.To illustrate, World Bank took a survey of world's wealth distribution. Shockingly, it is relieved that 80% of total wealth is with just 3000 individuals, means the majority of wealth is with less than 1% of the entire population. Hence it is clear that poverty is a man made disaster in human society.

Fortunately, education is the solution to possibly vanish poverty. First of all, education helps to secure job opportunities. For example, India attracts a lot of global companies because it has a lot of talented young IT graduates. Additionally, it provides knowledge to create or enrich business opportunities. For one take, Ghana, farmers get the modern cocoa plantation technique from Western countries. Since cocoa demand increases 3% every globally, these farmers are sustainable income, and they are having better lifestyle. Thus, it is evident, education improves standard of living.

To sum up, poverty is created by some greedy individuals for their own benefit, and power of knowledge helps to overturn the situation. In my opinion, government should enforce compulsory education to overcome poverty.

[chadny013]

dear, ur wiriting is good but my concern is did u really read the question correctly? is ask u reasons... means at leat two reason .. and lastly is ask u how can poor be helped ????

[jegankgm]

Thanks for the reply,
When I am reading back the question and my answer, I realized my mistake.

any comments on grammar part???

regards,
Jegan

[Flick]

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways to dealing with the poor.

What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped?
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Unfortunately, in the modern world not all citizens have similar lifestyles. Even in developed countries, (<-- can you include a few examples of developed countries? It makes it easier to relate to.) a significant number of people are living under below the poverty line. This essay is an attempt to analyse the core causes of this issue and suggest possible solutions.

Admittedly, unequal distribution of wealth is the main cause of poverty. This is mainly due to some rich and greedy people wanting to become more rich, so they corrupt the system and secure the majority of wealth available.To illustrate, World Bank took a survey of theworld's wealth distribution. Shockingly, it discovered that 80% of the total wealth is with just 3000 individuals. This means the majority of wealth is with less than 1% of the entire population. It is clear that poverty is a man made disaster in human society. (<-- This is a great way to explain the survey.)

I believe that education is the solution to solving poverty. First of all, education helps to secure job opportunities. For example, India attracts a lot of global companies because it has a lot of talented young IT graduates. Education also (<-- I changed this because the meaning wasn't clear; I thought you meant that India provides knowledge.)provides knowledge to create or enrich business opportunities. For example, in Ghana farmershave learnt modern cocoa plantation techniques from Western countries. Since cocoa demand increases 3% every years globally, these farmers are creating asustainable income, and they are leading better lives. Thus, it is evident, education improves standard of living.

To sum up, poverty is created by greedy individuals for their own benefit, and the power of knowledge helps to overturn this situation. In my opinion, governments should enforce compulsory education to overcome poverty.

Hi Jegan,

This is a good essay as far as it goes, but chadny013 is right; you didn't address the original question. Currently, how are poor people treated in various countries and how can we overcome this?
However, I really liked your examples and the World Bank survery was very interesting.

Thanks,
Flick