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Please assess my writing task 2

Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 8:21 am
by jabecs
In the past, building often reflected the culture of society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities through the world are becoming more and more similar. Why is it the case? Is it good thing or bad thing?

Years ago, the culture of a community is often based on the image of it's surroundings. However, these days, cities around the world are starting to look indistinguishable due to the similar infrastracture being built. There are many factors to this change and in my opinion, I do believe this is beneficial to the city.

Many improvements over the years were made to strengthen the stability and structure of a building. Certain methods and models were proven to be more effective in accomplishing these goals. Most buildings we see today were built with the same standards for quality assurance, that is why other engineers follow the steps resulting in similar fashions of each modern skyscrapper. That is to say that these establishments use similar materials and similar blueprints end up looking the same. Moreover, shopping malls and hotels also find it effective for their business growth woth high quality foundation. Another key factor for this is the fact that businessmen and corporate leaders choose to have avant garde designs in their company, while it attracts foreigners, it also gives pride to the local people. In addition, technology have also been utilized in these buildings that provide convenience to the people, such as automatic glass sliding doors, escalators and elevators. It is highly unlikely to be in any place without these equipments.

The advancement of properties provide many advantages to the people. For one thing, the progress of quality in these establishment gives saety to the individuals working in these places. Indeed, security and video cameras are effective ways to assure the prevention of violence and misconduct. Futhermore, it is able to withstand destructive natural calamities such as earthquakes and typhoons. More importantly, these establishments showcase the progress of the city and cam attract people from all over the worls. Thus, boost in the economy of the country is highly possible with international companies willing to invest for business and the rise of tourism.

In conclusion, the major change in cities all over the world can be vital in the nation's prosperity.


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Re: Please assess my writing task 2

Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 6:33 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

This is a good essay. Your points are clear and well supported. I think that you could have reasserted them briefly in the conclusion, but that's a minor point. Vocabulary is very good throughout the essay (e.g. natural calamities, avante garde, corporate leaders, accomplishing these goals - all appropriately and correctly used) and there is a good range of grammatical structures, with some basic mistakes, e.g. technology have. However, mistakes do not interfere with meaning.

So, just a bit more work on the grammar - mainly accuracy - and perhaps a slightly improved conclusion, and you'll have a great essay here!

Well done!
David

Re: Please assess my writing task 2

Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:28 pm
by Flick
jabecs wrote: Mon Apr 10, 2017 8:21 am In the past, building often reflected the culture of society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities through the world are becoming more and more similar. Why is it the case? Is it good thing or bad thing?

Years ago, the culture of a community was often based on the image of its surroundings. However, these days, cities around the world are starting to look indistinguishable due to the similar infrastracture being built. There are many reasons for this change and in my opinion, I do believe this is beneficial to the city.

Many improvements over the years have been made to strengthen the stability and structure of a building. Certain methods and models were proven to be more effective in accomplishing these goals. Most buildings we see today were built with the same standards for quality assurance. That is why other engineers follow the steps, resulting in similar fashions for each modern skyscraper. That is to say that these establishments use similar materials and similar blueprints to end up looking the same. Moreover, shopping malls and hotels also find it effective for their business growth to use a high quality foundation. Another key factor for this is the fact that businessmen and corporate leaders choose to have avant garde designs in their company. While this attracts foreigners, it also gives pride to the local people. In addition, technology has also been utilized in these buildings to provide convenience to the people, such as automatic glass sliding doors, escalators and elevators. It is highly unlikely to be in any place without these equipments.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)

The advancement of building properties provides many advantages to the people. For one thing, the progress of quality in these establishments provides safety to the individuals working in these places. Indeed, security and video cameras are effective ways to insure the prevention of violence and misconduct. Futhermore, these buildings are able to withstand destructive natural calamities such as earthquakes and typhoons. More importantly, these establishments showcase the progress of the city and can attract people from all over the world. Thus, a boost in the economy of the country is highly possible with international companies willing to invest for business and the rise of tourism.

In conclusion, the major change in cities all over the world can be vital in the nation's prosperity.