Please assess my writing task 2 and give some feedback. I will be profoundly grateful for you support.

[altinbek11]

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling?
It is inescapable fact that the tourism industry has dramatically changed in recent years. The causes of this appear to be focused on three factors, and a number of advantages are available that tourists can gain.
The economic growth has a significant effect on tourism because people get high wage while the wider economy is growing. This allows people to spend more money on their pursuits and travelling. For instance, the majority of tourists are from the western countries where an average salary is high compared to the other countries. Another reason why travelling become far more common than ever before is that the bond between nations has enormously changed after the collapse of Soviet Union and because of international agreements. Before the 1990s, it was difficult for people to visiting other countries due to the conflict between nations. Fortunately, this situation had changed, and the governments maintain the tourism nowadays.
Perhaps the major benefit that tourists could get is life satisfaction that will contribute to a traveller’s lives. Travellers experience new cultures, new environments which itself give satisfactions to a traveller’s life, and some kinds of tourism such as walking and travelling by bicycles promote the healthy lifestyle. A further benefit seems to be understanding the cultures of other inhabitants. This understanding paves the way for travellers to find new ideas and may help them to embark on a new career. It is undeniable that most filmmakers are motivated and encouraged by the natural beauty of removed places or by inhabitants’ cultural and a way of life.
In conclusion, it is inevitable that more people will tend to travel in results of improving economic conditions and international cooperation on tourism. It would also appear to be likely that travelling encourages people to be creative and they also can find their happiness when they are travelling.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, this is a good essay. Points are relevant, though sometimes a little simplistic. This is partly because the range of grammar is limited, but also because you have missed key elements of travel. for instance, you write about cycling holidays. Sure, people go on these, but I'll bet more people go to the beach or visit historical sites. Anyway, grammatical accuracy is good, despite some basic errors, and the essay can be understood quite easily.

So, good, but nothing really advanced in there to get a high score.

All the best,
David