please review my GT task 2

[DJvj]

Topic:-
Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion.
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Sports play an integral role in children's life. It helps in stimulating their growth and overall development. While some people think that sports should be the part of school and can play a significant role , but there are quite a few opponents to this idea. This essay will discuss both viewpoints before coming to a reasoned conclusion.

There are several reasons why sport is required in schools. Firstly , students are undergoing lot of stress nowadays due to the increased competition.Therefore,sports can work as an effective stress buster for students. Secondly , Children's learning curve can also be elevated while playing sports. For instance, while playing a team game like cricket can help them in learning the importance of being a team player. Even they can learn to strategies their plan of action and collaboration also. Lastly , It can even help in regaining the focus to overcome from the monotonous routine.

On the other side of it , sports can brings few challenges as well . Firstly , sometimes students can be distracted due to the inclination more towards sports. This could impact their studies. Secondly ,it may cause some injury too while playing sports which could affect his studies. Lastly, some students prefer to participate in other extra curriculum activities over sports.

To conclude, I strongly believe that sports are equally important as studies in student's life. It can help them in balancing their studies and physical development. However, one should clearly understand his goal and plan accordingly.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, this is a good essay. The second main paragraph could be a little more developed, but the points are clear. Good use of modals, though they are quite simple (can, might). Good range of grammar structures and good accuracy. Vocabulary is good with some very nice items, e.g. collaboration, learning curve.

The ideas are expressed simply, which helps with clarity. However, more complex expression would achieve a higher score.

Well done!
David

[Flick]

Topic:-
Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion.
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Sports play an integral role in childrens' lives. It helps in stimulating their growth and overall development. While some people think that sports should be part of the schoolcurriculum, there are quite a few opponents to this idea. This essay will discuss both viewpoints before coming to a reasoned conclusion.

There are several reasons why sport should be required in schools. Firstly, students are undergoing lot of stress nowadays due to the increased competition. Therefore, sports can work as an effective stress buster for students. Secondly, a child's learning curve can also be elevated while playing sports. For instance, playing a team game like cricket can help them in learning the importance of being a team player. They can even learn to make a plan of action and collaboration. Lastly, it can also help in regaining focus to overcome the monotonous routine.

On the other side, sports can bring a few challenges as well. Firstly, sometimes students can be distracted due to an inclination more towards sports. This could impact their studies. Secondly, it may cause an injury which could affect his studies. Lastly, some students prefer to participate in other extra curricular activities over sports such as music.

To conclude, I strongly believe that sports are equally important as studies in a student's life. It can help them in balancing their studies and physical development. However, one should clearly understand his goal and plan accordingly.