pls kindly check and grade my letter. thank you!

[rairaichan0323]

You have a friend in England and you would like to invite him to watch a movie about your country.

* Mention about the movie.
* Why do you think your friend would be interested in that movie?
* Organize a meeting.

Dear Charles,

How are you going? I hope you are well. I would like to invite you to watch a movie with me in coming Saturday.

As I know you, you love to watch a historical film. Recently, cinema is showing a very interesting movie which is called “Hong Kong History “. The content of it is about the history of my hometown such as what did it change before and after returning back to China. When I saw the brochure of this movie, I was thinking that you must be interested in it. So, if you have a time, then let us watch it together on this weekend afternoon. It will start at 3pm; therefore, we can meet at 2:30 at Time Square. After watching it, we can have a dinner together as well.

Please let me know whether you can go or not before this Wednesday. Hence, I can book the tickets for us. I am looking forward to hearing your response. I hope to see you soon.

Best regards,

Janis

[Joe]

Hello,

Please see my edit of your letter. Overall, good effort. You have included the key points so well done. I have graded your work below.

One point- If you are not sure about a certain word, see if you can leave it out. Sometimes, when students are trying to demonstrate their vocabulary, it can lead to mistakes when keeping it simple might be better.

Dear Charles,

How are you doing (This is informal but ok if it is a friend. Or 'How's it going- again informal. Or just leave it out- 'how are you'?) I hope you are well. I would like to invite you to watch a movie with me this coming Saturday.

As I recall, you love to watch historical films. At the moment, the cinema is showing a very interesting movie which is called “Hong Kong History “. It is about the history of my hometown, such as how it changed after ownership was transferred from the British Empire to China . When I saw the trailer for the movie, I thought that you would be interested in it. So, if you have time, then let us watch it together at the weekend, during the afternoon. It will start at 3pm; therefore, we can meet at 2:30 at Time Square. After, we can have dinner together as well.

Please let me know before this Wednesday whether you can go or not. Then, I can book the tickets for us. I am looking forward to hearing from you. I hope to see you soon.

Best regards,

Janis

Grade: Band 6-7

To move up a level, mistakes need to be more occasional but you are quite close!

All the best,

Joe
www.theenglishweb.org

[rairaichan0323]

dear Joe
thank you for your comments!!

[allen_zhang]

Can anyone help to grade my version?

Dear David,

I hope you are well and I am writing to tell you some great news: Avatar will be on show this Saturday at the City Center Cinema. Avatar is one of the best works of director James Cameron and it is his first 3D movie! It has been shown in North American for a couple of weeks and has brought in glowing reviews. What’s more is that it has been on the top of the box office ranking list for weeks since the first day it hit the screen. I know that you are a big fan of James Cameron and you have almost watched all his movies. I am sure that you would not miss this one.

Do you have time to watch it with me on Saturday night? Please let me know as soon as possible because I am afraid that the tickets will be sold out very soon.

If you can manage to come on Saturday, please wait me at your home at 5pm and I’ll pick you up there.

See you soon
Allen