GT Task 1 - Help me to evaluate this semiformal letter

[vitor.rmachado]

You have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbour moved in and has been making a lot of noise, which disturbs you.
Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter:
explain the situation.
describe why it bothers you.
suggest a solution.

Dear Sir,
I am writing this letter with regards to an annoying problem about one of my neighbours that has been disturbing me.
Recently, a man moved to the apartment number 304, and appears to me that he do not know the noise policies of the building. He often give parties to his friends until 4am. Not only at weekends, but also in weekdays.
This is extremely disturbing because I cannot sleep with loud music around me, and I have to wake up at 5am to work, therefore, I have to sleep early. Moreover, I have a small child at home, and she cannot sleep either with so loud music and people yelling during the dawn.
I would be thankful if you could explain him that he should not put loud music after 10 pm, before I have to call the police. Although it is disturbing me for too long, I did not called the authorities yet. Unless he change his behaviour, I will have to call the cops.
Thank you in advance. Please, write me back when you solve this issue.
I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours sincerely,
Vitor Machado.

[Flick]

You have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbour moved in and has been making a lot of noise, which disturbs you.
Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter:
explain the situation.
describe why it bothers you.
suggest a solution.

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter with regards to a problem caused by a new neighbour.
Recently, a man moved into Apartment 304, and it appears that he does not know the noise policies of the building. He often has parties with his friends until 4am. Not only on weekends, but also during the week.

This is extremely disturbing because I cannot sleep with loud music around me, and I have to wake up at 5am to work, therefore, I have to sleep early. Moreover, I have a small child at home, and she cannot sleep either with such loud music and people yelling at all hours.

I would be thankful if you could explain to him that he should not play loud music after 10 pm, before I have to call the police. Although it is disturbing me for too long, I did not called the authorities yet.(<--Reword to: "Although this has been going on for some time, I have not called the authorities yet.") Unless he changes his behaviour, I will have to call the cops.

Please, write me back when you solve this issue. Thank you in advance.
I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours sincerely,
Vitor Machado.