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Agree and Disagree Essay ... Needs evaluation ...

Posted: Wed May 25, 2016 2:30 pm
by Prashant Hirani
Some people think that giving their children a certain amount of money every week will help them have fewer financial problems in the future. Do you agree or disagree?

Giving pocket money to younger generations on regular basis is a well known practice in most of the developed countries. Some people assert that this way teenager could cope with financial issues in future; however, many argue that this will lead to substance abuse. Here, in the this essay, I will try to enunciate both the arguments with my own perception.

On the one hand, child's can develop most important aspect of life i.e. money saving; for future financial needs by pondering periodically money to them. For example, when I was kid, my parents used to supply me few hundreds of rupees every week, and side by side taught me to save money for upcoming critical needs and because of that I was able to sponsor myself a motorbike during my graduation days. Thus, from my own lesson, it is clear that how pocket money saving can be effective at times if planned carefully and being taught sincerely.

On the other side, It is true that younger bloods may misuse the money by buying unnecessary things and spending on watching movies, outing with friends etc. For instance, one of my rich friend has started developing a tendency that given money has to be used fully and due to that he has started wasting money to the things he does not need it at all otherwise. This shows that, young age is very sensitive and can start mishandling funds given to them if not explained politely and monitored strictly.

To recapitulate, by looking at the above details, in my viewpoint, there are clearly more advantages of giving pocket money to children's than possible drawbacks as they can learn money management skills and money saving. It is predicted that this trend would lead to a responsible and stronger society in coming years.

Re: Agree and Disagree Essay ... Needs evaluation ...

Posted: Mon May 30, 2016 7:13 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

Why is saving money the most important thing in life?

Why is going out with friends 'unneccessary'? Many people would argue that socialising is a natural thing for humans to do and helps develop many social skills that can be useful in life.

You haven't explained how you came to your conclusion. You simply state two points and say one is more important than the other without reason.

Overall, a weak essay. A limited range of grammatical structures with quite a lot of mistakes. Vocabulary appears good, but is not used to create a solid argument.

All the best,
David