Please review my writing task 2 and grade it to elucidate my position.
Posted: Mon May 23, 2016 11:44 pm
Hi,
I am GIRISH SAI. I am going to write IELTS IDP exam on june 4, 2016. The following text below this mail is the writing passage with question. Hence, I request you to please help me in understanding my mistakes and rectify them for better scoring. Eagerly waiting for reply. Thank you.
In most countries, MNCs and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life.
Do you agree or disagree?
Answer
Multi-national companies are the creators of new products. Whatever we see in the market like smart phone, air conditioner, automobiles and so on are being provided by these companies as they have huge investment and numerous experimentation facilities. Hence, in my perspective, multi-national companies are beneficial to people.
Automobiles were invented prior world war-II. The industrial evolution had modified technology in vehicles and at last, it had lead to release of greenhouse gases from vehicles. But a company called Reva, for example, have been releasing electrified cars which does not run on fossil fuel rather they are powered with electrical energy. Hence, it infers that MNCs are already aware of the consequences of using fossil fuels and they are focusing on to change the trend, which in turn ameliorates the quality of life.
Software companies like google and Microsoft have been innovating and designing new softwares for acute use. For example, google had coined the search engine called http://www.google.com from which any information can be obtained with minimal effort.
In pharmaceutical industries, technology is changing dramatically to satisfy environment, health and safety compliances. If the facility is eco-friendly, safe and produce medicines successfully, then, it does not abrupt the quality of life, rather, increases it. For example, new companies which are being established in pharma field are preferring automation, as it can optimize parameters of equipments so as to attain finished products which less precipitated and solvents.
Therefore, every multi-national company is rigorously concentrating on welfare of people by providing or updating their products. Therefore, it cannot be exhilarated that these world-wide established companies are causing treacherous situations for human existence rather it can be justifies that MNCs are trying to mitigate the cause of present technology.
Words:287
I am GIRISH SAI. I am going to write IELTS IDP exam on june 4, 2016. The following text below this mail is the writing passage with question. Hence, I request you to please help me in understanding my mistakes and rectify them for better scoring. Eagerly waiting for reply. Thank you.
In most countries, MNCs and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life.
Do you agree or disagree?
Answer
Multi-national companies are the creators of new products. Whatever we see in the market like smart phone, air conditioner, automobiles and so on are being provided by these companies as they have huge investment and numerous experimentation facilities. Hence, in my perspective, multi-national companies are beneficial to people.
Automobiles were invented prior world war-II. The industrial evolution had modified technology in vehicles and at last, it had lead to release of greenhouse gases from vehicles. But a company called Reva, for example, have been releasing electrified cars which does not run on fossil fuel rather they are powered with electrical energy. Hence, it infers that MNCs are already aware of the consequences of using fossil fuels and they are focusing on to change the trend, which in turn ameliorates the quality of life.
Software companies like google and Microsoft have been innovating and designing new softwares for acute use. For example, google had coined the search engine called http://www.google.com from which any information can be obtained with minimal effort.
In pharmaceutical industries, technology is changing dramatically to satisfy environment, health and safety compliances. If the facility is eco-friendly, safe and produce medicines successfully, then, it does not abrupt the quality of life, rather, increases it. For example, new companies which are being established in pharma field are preferring automation, as it can optimize parameters of equipments so as to attain finished products which less precipitated and solvents.
Therefore, every multi-national company is rigorously concentrating on welfare of people by providing or updating their products. Therefore, it cannot be exhilarated that these world-wide established companies are causing treacherous situations for human existence rather it can be justifies that MNCs are trying to mitigate the cause of present technology.
Words:287