David Please mark Task 1 need 7 +

[Qasim]

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying,
so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:

1-give details of your study plans
2-explain why you want to get a part-time job
3-suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Dear Salman,

Hopefully you are good in health.

I am writing this letter to inform you that I have got admission in "University of London" in
Information technology department and my area of study is "Networking Fundamentals". This course is full-time for 2 years and consist of four semesters. Next month I am traveling to London to join my course. I need your help in finding part-time job to support my financial needs.

As you already know that my father is now retired from his government job and he has already supported me in paying my university fees, so therefore I need your help to find part-time job to support my living abroad.

As discussed atop, I am interested in part-time job which is closely related to my education, and in London I hardly know anyone except you and you are working in the same field where I am interested to work. If possible can you
adjust me in your company for part-time or you can refer me some other place.

I have already emailed my resume to you

I will be very grateful of you.

Yours truly,
Qasim Fateh Muhammad

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

I have been admitted to ...

... to take my course ...

adjust?

Grammar is good, as is vocabulary (despite some mistakes!). However, there is little in the way of development. The request for work is repetitive and you do not say what a) Network Fundamentals is or b) how it fits with your friend's company.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying,
so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:

1-give details of your study plans
2-explain why you want to get a part-time job
3-suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Dear Salman,

Hopefully you are good in health.

I am writing this letter to inform you that I have been accepted to the University of London's IT department studying Networking Fundamentals. This course is full-time for 2 years and consists of four semesters. Next month I am traveling to London to begin my course. I need your help in finding a part-time job to support my financial needs.

As you already know, my father is now retired from his government job and he has already supported me in paying my university fees, but I need your help to find part-time job to support my living abroad.

As discussed above, I am interested in a part-time job which is closely related to my education, and in London I hardly know anyone except you and you are working in the same field that I am interested in. If possible can you adjust me in your company for part-time or you can refer me some other place.(<--Reword to: "If possible, can you please see if there is any work available at your company, or can you recommend somewhere else?")

I have already emailed my resume to you.

Yours truly,
Qasim Fateh Muhammad