Pls correct writing task 2 - equality in working environment

[SaraZh]

Sometimes people are rejecting a job opportunity due to their age or other circumstances. Is it a negative or a positive approach? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

Although government, social workers and unions have been promoting a fairer working environment, a considerable amount of people is turned down because of their age, gender and race, when they are looking for jobs or competing for promotions.

It is unreasonable to reject a candidate merely because he or she is forty or above. In fact, workers in their middle age are more suitable for senior or managerial positions, as they have plenty of working experience and decision-making skills. For example, almost all the Chief Executive Officers of the listed companies around the world are over forty years old. This is certainly not a coincident! Generally, junior employees are unable to deal with the ruthless cut and thrust of the business world.

Additionally, women in modern society have become more independent and equally intelligent as men. If a company still holds the stereotype that female employees cannot do better than male and therefore denies their promotions, the company will probably lose its human capital and can commit an offense of Sex Discrimination Act. Many businesswomen have proved that they can be equally tough, while simultaneously, being astute and caring.

Finally, racism is a sensitive and serious issue. International companies are hiring people with more diverse nationalities, but white people still tend to have higher salaries and better positions. Capability differs person by person, but not race by race. It is quite disappointing that an employee with darker skin does not get promotion despite he or she is as capable as his or her Caucasian counterpart.

In conclusion, the evaluation of candidates and employees is a difficult mission; too many variables should be taken into account. Nevertheless, some factors, such as age, gender and race, normally should not become the determinants of whether to hire or promote someone.

[devaraj]

Overall good essay. It look like 7 band essay. All the best.

[saqibali]

I supposed, its an older post.
Do you still need to correct this essay?