Please access my essay for IELTS Academic Writing Task 2!!

[hwabatte]

Topic: Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

With the advent of technological advances, people now have various ways to interact with each other. Subsequently, we gradually change the formation of relationships and develop more diverse types of interaction among people. However, there are pros and cons in this development.

Technology has made a huge impact on relationships. The invention of electronic equipment such as mobile phones makes it easier for people to contact each other. Therefore, we take less time to keep in touch with friends living far away. Furthermore, the emergence of social networks has made a revolution in communication. Nowadays, with a computer which has an Internet connection, people can chat with friends and family members. The advancement of technology has got the world together.

This development has both advantages and disadvantages. Positively, the interaction among people becomes more diverse and popular because there are more convenient, faster, and less time – consuming ways to communicate with each other. In addition, social networks help people expand the circle of friends from around the globe. People now are getting closer despite geographical distances.

On the other hand, there are some drawbacks in this development. Firstly, people are losing the art of conversation. Without letters and face – to – face talks, we are gradually forgetting how to make a proper conversation. Also, the appearance of teen code has made students forget how to make a grammatical sentence with correct spellings. Secondly, social networks have created a new type of relationship called “cyber relationships” in which strange people get to know each other through social network and become a couple. Not only these relationships are unstable but they have also led to many criminal problems like Internet fraud.

In conclusion, technology plays an important role in the change of relationships. We should utilize it to expand our circle of friends but we should also learn how to maintain and treasure our relationship in order not to let regrettable things occur.

P.S: If possible, please score my essay based on IELTS Writing Task 2 Bandscore. Thank you.

[devaraj]

Overall it look like 7 band essay. All the best.

[saqibali]

I supposed, its an older post.
Do you still need to correct this essay?