Edit Writing task 2-advertisement on children

[lykhzy]

Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think there are lots of negative effects on children and we should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

These days, advertising is an indispensable part of people lives in the contemporary society because humans need information about whether there are any new products in the market. However, children gradually become the main target market of most of advertising, which exerts a harmful influence on children’s health, though the advantages of stimulating children’s creativity cannot be denied.

It is undeniable that advertisements benefits children mainly because it can inspire their creativity and imagination in a way that people never image before. This is especially true when people consider the fact that the colorful cloth characters wear, the product they take or even the way they talk can provoke children’s curiosity. It is reported by Children Research Association that curiosity is the prerequisite for children to stimulate their creativity and imagination. Therefore, children are inspired subconsciously by the moving pictures on the advertisement.

However, advertising has a negative impact on children since their health problem like obesity is caused by junk food advertisements. It is widely known that children are an extremely vulnerable target audience and get easily carried away by the product promoted on the advertisement because they are at the age when they are not mature enough to distinguish whether the messages in the advertisements are true or not. They usually take everything at face value and believe without a doubt the messages in the advertisement. Therefore, advertisers make use of the characteristics of innocent children to intentionally advertise something to attract their attention. A convincing example is that an increasing demand for junk food is consumed by children after they watch a group of teenagers eating junk food deliciously in the advertisement. Under this circumstance, they are unaware of the fact that junk food does not contain nutrimental value at all. As a result, some young children are stricken with obesity which is considered as a chronic killer in the modern society. Therefore, the government should ban these kinds of advertisements that harm children.

No one can deny the fact that some advertisement brings benefit to children because it triggers people’s imagination. However, I convinced that children are susceptible to advertisements since some kinds of junk food advertisements have bad effects on children’s health.

[hoangnguyen7x]

Some checks as part of my IELTS study.

Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think there are lots of negative effects on children and we should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

These days, advertising is an indispensable part of people's lives in the contemporary society because humans need information about whether there are any new products in the market. However, children gradually become the main target of most of advertisements, particularly about junk foods, which exerts a harmful influence on children’s health, though the advantages of stimulating children’s creativity cannot be denied.

It is undeniable that advertisements benefits children mainly because it can inspire their creativity and imagination in a way that people never image before. This is especially true when people consider the fact that the colorful cloth characters wear, the product they take or even the way they talk can provoke children’s curiosity. It is reported by Children Research Association that curiosity is the prerequisite for children to stimulate their creativity and imagination. Therefore, children are inspired subconsciously by the moving pictures on the advertisement.

However, advertising has a negative impact on children since their health problem like obesity might be caused by junk food advertisements. It is widely known that children are an(removed) extremely vulnerable audience and easily affected by the product promoted on the advertisement because they are not mature enough at their age to distinguish whether the messages in the advertisements are true or not. They usually take everything at face value and believe without a doubt the messages in the advertisement. Therefore, advertisers make use of the characteristics of innocent children to intentionally advertise something to attract their attention. A convincing example is that there is increasing demand for junk food from children after they watch a group of teenagers eating junk food deliciously in the advertisement. Under this circumstance, they are unaware of the fact that eating much junk food is not good for health. As a result, some young children are stricken with obesity which is considered as a chronic killer in the modern society. Therefore, the government should ban these kinds of advertisements that harm children.

No one can deny the fact that some advertisement brings benefit to children because it triggers their imagination. However, I am convinced that children are susceptible to unhealthy diet since some kinds of junk food advertisements have bad effects on children’s health.

Bruce

[saqibali]

I supposed, its an older post.
Do you still need to correct this essay?