requesting letter correction

[ieltstarget054]

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your flat.

Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter
• explain the reasons for the noise
• apologise
• describe what action you will take
Write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ................. ,


Dear John,

I got your letter yesterday and I was very shocked that the noise coming for my flat is causing disturbance in the evenings for you. I am really sorry and I did not realize that you can hear the noise, I am sorry once again I did not mean to disturb you, hope you understand and accept my apologies.

As you know I am trying to renovate the pool area at the back side of the home and trying to build a new wooden deck as well, I am trying to get rid of old deck and pool tiles and this needs a lot banging. I am trying to put some effort everyday after work in the evenings and you know this never end as expected and getting delayed till late night.

I am thinking to hire some professionals builders as they can finish it off in few days and they will be only working in the daylight starting from Monday 10am to 4pm. Hope this would not cause any trouble for you, please let me know if you have any issues.

Yours Sincerely,

[argho1985]

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your flat.

Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter
• explain the reasons for the noise
• apologise
• describe what action you will take
Write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ................. ,


Dear John,

I got your letter yesterday and I was very shocked that the noise coming for my flat is causing disturbance in the evenings for you. I am really sorry and I did not realize that you can hear the noise, I am sorry once again I did not mean to disturb you, hope you understand and accept my apologies.

As you know I am trying to renovate the pool area at the back side of the home and trying to build a new wooden deck as well, I am trying to get rid of old deck and pool tiles and this needs a lot banging. I am trying to put some effort everyday after work in the evenings and you know this never end as expected and getting delayed till late night.

I am thinking to hire some professionals builders as they can finish it off in few days and they will be only working in the daylight starting from Monday 10am to 4pm. Hope this would not cause any trouble for you, please let me know if you have any issues.

Yours Sincerely,

Hi Venkat,

I saw your letter..

In first para.. Too much usage of word " sorry".

Second and third para is fine.. but no usage of linking words like.. To begin with, At Present, Moreover, Furthermore. You need to include linking words in a such a way that your information flows in sequence

for example " At present, I am trying to renovate the pool area at the back side of my home and trying to build a new wooden deck as well. However, I am trying to get rid of old deck and pool tiles which needs a lot of banging.
Moreover, I am trying to put some effort everyday after work in the evenings but this process is taking a long time as compared to what I have expected and as a result it is getting delayed till late night everyday.."

Thanks
Argho

[ieltstarget054]

Dear Argho,

Thank you for you valuable feedback I will keep these in mind next time when I am writing letter.

Regards,

Venkat,