Can anyone comment and rate my essay please?

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itsdeepesh
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Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2014 1:45 am

Can anyone comment and rate my essay please?

Post by itsdeepesh »

Can anyone check and rate this essay, please ? I welcome your feedback.

In some countries, young people of eighteen years are allowed to do things such as vote, drive car, or marry. In some other countries they have to be older.
What you think the age should be to take adult responsibilities?


Every country has its own policies related to age restrictions for adult duties. While few countries support 18 years as the minimum age, in my own view, I believe it should be a restriction of minimum 21 years old for basic duties like being voter, driver and be allowed to get married. It can be illustrated looking at how a 21 year old can understand responsibilities better and how it helps nation to alleviate population, accidents and other domestic issues.

Firstly, a 21 year old would be more responsible than 18 year old while deciding the President during election days. Moreover, a matured person can be a responsible driver. My cousin who is 19 year old, for example, was involved in an accident recently in USA and he had four driving penalties in last two years. I always felt meeting him that he should have been more matured before he could get his license. Additionally, during 18th year, most youth concentrate on starting their career and focus on finishing their study. Allowing them to get married in that age usually become an immature decision and affect their career negatively. Therefore, it is clear that instead of 18, 21st year is a better age since people are responsible.

Secondly, lower age for marriage and adulthood has various ramifications over countries growth. For example, in developing world, girls who are 18 years old, are getting married and giving birth to the child early, which in turns catalyses the population growth. Understand that if minimum age will be 21, the girl's would have enough time for studies and will help reducing the population growth as well. It is obvious that 21 year old would contribute to better safety rules than 18 year old. Thus, it is clear from the above example that
having older age for adult duties will benefit the nation and help avoid other common issues.

At last, It can be seen from above arguments that having older age like 21, will not just benefit citizens being responsible but also help country to deal with issues like population growth, road accidents etc. Thus, I predict, sooner or later, all countries will analyze these concerns before finalizing their own policy.

- itsdeepesh
(New to the forum).
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Flick
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Re: Can anyone comment and rate my essay please?

Post by Flick »

itsdeepesh wrote: In some countries, young people of eighteen years are allowed to do things such as vote, drive car, or marry. In some other countries they have to be older.
What you think the age should be to take adult responsibilities?


Every country has its own policies related to age restrictions for adult duties. While few countries support 18 years as the minimum age, I believe there should be a minimum age limit of 21 years old for basic duties like voting, driving and being allowed to marry. It can be illustrated looking at how a 21 year old can understand responsibilities better and how it helps nation to alleviate population, accidents and other domestic issues. (<-- Reword to: This age limit is to ensure that the individual understands their responsibilities and can avoid issues that a younger person is unable to deal with.)

Firstly, a 21 year old is more responsible than an 18 year old while deciding the President during election days. (<-- Reword to: Firstly, a 21 year old can make a more informed decision than an 18 year old when it comes to voting.) Moreover, a mature person will be a responsible driver. For example, my cousin, who is 19 years old, was involved in an accident recently in the USA and he has had four driving penalties in last two years. I always felt that he should have been more mature before being eligible for a drivers license. Additionally, when they are 18, most youth concentrate on starting their career and focus on finishing their study. Allowing them to get married at that age usually become an immature decision and affect their career negatively. (<-- Reword to: Additionally, when they are 18, most youth should be concentrating on their studies and careers. Marrying at that age is often the result of an immature decision with no thought of consequences.) Therefore, it is clear that instead of 18, 21 is a better age since people are more responsible.

Secondly, a lower age for marriage and adulthood has various ramifications for a country's growth. For example, in the developing world, girls who are 18 years old are getting married and giving birth very young, which in turns causes population growth. If the minimum age for marriage is 21, girl's would have enough time for studies and will help steady population growth as well. It is obvious that a 21 year old would be better prepared than an 18 year old. Thus, it is clear from the above example that setting the minimum age for adulthood at 21 will benefit the nation and help avoid other common issues.

In conclusion, it can be seen from the above arguments that setting a higher age limit will not just benefit citizens being responsible but also help the country to deal with issues like population growth, road accidents, etc. Thus, I predict, sooner or later, all countries will analyze these concerns before finalizing their own policy.
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