T2 energy-crisis

[allen_zhang]

Can anyone help to check?
Many thanks!

The consumption of the resources on the earth is increasing at an alarming rate and above a dangerous level. What are the causes of this? What can be done to reduce it?

It is true that humans are consuming the natural resources at a staggering pace and we are probably running out of fossil fuels within 200 years.

There are two major underlying reasons for this problem. One of them is the population explosion in recent decades. The global population has reached 60 billion a few years ago and is expected to keep growing. To support the everyday life of such a huge amount of people, more energy and material is needed for transportation, electricity and construction. Most of these resources come from natural resources such as land, forest and fossil oil. Another cause of the high consumption of natural resources is the changing modern lifestyles. Nowadays, human activities are increasingly relying on fossil fuels. For example, the number of cars is increasing dramatically in the last decades. More and more oil is consumed to keep the wheels running.

In order to mitigate this problem, some measures should be taken by governments. Firstly, birthrate control is needed, especially in some developing countries. Some countries such as China have adopted some policies which have significantly reduced the birthrate and controlled the population growth. Secondly, encouraging people to choose “greener” transportation and use energy from renewable resources like water, wind and solar power could be another method to decrease the consumption of natural resources.

To sum up, there are always more solutions than problems. If governments can implement these aforementioned measures, the risk of running out of natural resources could be effectively controlled.

[candy07]

are probably running out

- we may probably run out

are increasingly relying

- increasingly rely

birthrate control

- control over growing population

[durai]

It is true that humans are consuming the natural resources at a staggering pace, and we would probably running out of fossil fuels within 200 years.

There are two major underlying reasons for this problem. One of them is the population explosion that happened in recent decades 'recent years' would be more suitable. The global population has reached 60 billion a few years ago and is expected to keep growing unless some solution has been found to stop this increase. To support the everyday life of such a huge number of people, more energy and materials are needed for transportation, electricity and construction. Most of these resources come from natural resources such as land, forest and fossil oil. Another cause of the high consumption of natural resources is the change in lifestyles. Nowadays, human activities are increasingly relying on fossil fuels. For example, the number of cars is increasing dramatically over the last decades. More and more oil is consumed to keep the wheels running. not convinced with your explanations

In order to mitigate this problem, some measures should be taken by governments. Firstly, birthrate control is needed, especially in some developing countries. Some countries such as China have adopted some policies which have significantly reduced the birthrate and controlled the population growth. you need to connect this solution to the theme of the essay, otherwise how do I know less population means, less resources used Secondly, encouraging people to choose “greener” transportation and use energy from renewable resources like water, wind and solar power could be another method to decrease the consumption of natural resources.

To sum up, there are always more solutions than problems I feel this is not necessary). If governments can implement these aforementioned measures, the risk of running out of natural resources could be reduced effectively. here subject is ' risk', you cannot control the risk, but reduce

[allen_zhang]

Hi Durai,
Thanks!

Two places I want to discuss with you.
you changed "Such a huge amount of" to "such a huge number of". I feel "amount" also work here. what you think?

you changed "control risk" to "reduce risk".
I believe "risk control" is a good phrase. what you think?

Best regards,
Allen

[durai]

Hi Allen,

Your essay seems to get band 6.5 to 7.

'huge amount' if we refer people in number, then I feel ' huge number ' would be suitable , but i am not too sure

'Risk control ' may be a good phrase, but i never read , if you are confident , then just use it.


keep posting your essays

Good luck
durai