Today's practice: letter + essay

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Today's practice: letter + essay

Post by allen_zhang »

Unfortunately, I spend 65 minutes on today's practice. I should write faster.

Write a letter to your company manager saying that you want to leave the company. Please say
- What have you learned while working for the company?
- Did you enjoy working there?
- What are your reasons for leaving?


Dear Mr. David,
I am writing to inform you my decision of leaving ABC industry when my current contract comes to an end next month.
I have been working in ABC industry for almost 6 years and I have thoroughly enjoyed my job here. However, I feel now is the time for me to experience different practices and working environments within our industry; I would also like to travel more as part of my future job.
During my 6 years in ABC industry, I have learned immensely. Now I am not only proficient with the key software programs which are widely used throughout our industry, I have also learned valuable interpersonal skills such as how to manage a team and how to delegate tasks.
I would be extremely grateful if you could provide me a letter reference for my future employers.
Many thanks for all the help you have given me these years. I would say it was the happiest years in my life.
Yours sincerely,
Allen

In recent years, many young people decide to study abroad. Do you think the advantages of study abroad outweigh its disadvantages?

It is true that many parents send their children to colleges and universities overseas. While this could have negative effects to these students and their families, I generally believe it would be more beneficial for students if they could get a degree outside their own country.

On the one hand, there are certainly some drawbacks of learning abroad. The main concern of it would be the high cost. For example, studying and living in the USA or British cost more than 30 thousand dollars per year. Such a high price is not affordable for many families in many developing countries. Even if some parents manage to find enough money to send their children out, it will pose a great financial burden to their families. Another disadvantage of studying overseas is that students may find themselves in difficulties to mingle into a different culture. Some of them often suffer from homesickness and therefore cannot fully commit themselves into their academic study.

On the other hand, the benefits of having a chance to learn abroad are also obvious. Firstly, students could command a secondary language way more fast than staying in their own country. The world nowadays has become increasingly competitive along with the pace of globalization. Being competent with a secondary language could give students more opportunities in their future searching of employment. Secondly, developed countries such as the USA and the UK can offer better education to their students. As we know, most of the top 50 universities are located in these developed countries. Having a degree from these institutions would be a great privilege for students. This is probably why many Asian parents want to send their children to western countries.

To conclude, from my perspective, in case parents can afford the costs of their children’s education overseas, studying abroad would be a good choice for them considering what their children can gain from these experiences.
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
Johnson zhang
Posts: 153
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 8:34 am

Re: Today's practice: letter + essay

Post by Johnson zhang »

Write a letter to your company manager saying that you want to leave the company. Please say
- What have you learned while working for the company?
- Did you enjoy working there?
- What are your reasons for leaving?

Dear Mr. David,
I am writing to inform you my decision of leaving ABC industry when my current contract comes to an end next month.too much info
I have been working in ABC industry for almost 6 years and I have thoroughly enjoyed my job here. However, I feel now is the time for me to experience different practices what do you mean?and working environments within our industry; I would also like to travel more as part of my future job.
During my 6 years in ABC industry, I have learned immensely like what?. Now I am not only proficient with the key software programs which are widely used throughout our industry, I have also learned valuable interpersonal skills such as how to manage a team and how to delegate tasks.
I would be extremely grateful if you could provide me a letter reference for my future employers.
Many thanks for all the help you have given me these years. I would say it was the happiest years in my life.
Yours sincerely,
Allen

In recent years, many young people decide to study abroad. Do you think the advantages of study abroad outweigh its disadvantages?

It is true that many parents send their children to colleges and universities overseas. While this could have negative effects to these students and their families, I generally believe it would be more beneficial for students if they could get a degree outside their own country.more than what?

On the one hand, there are certainly some drawbacks of learning abroad. The main concern of it would be the high cost. For example, studying and living in the USA or British cost more than 30 thousand dollars per year. Such a high price is not affordable for many families in many developing countries. Even if some parents manage to find enough money to send their children out, it will pose a great financial burden to their families. Another disadvantage of studying overseas is that students may find themselves in difficulties to mingle into a different culture. Some of them often suffer from homesickness and therefore cannot fully commit themselves into their academic study.

On the other hand, the benefits of having a chance to learn abroad are also obvious. Firstly, students could command a secondary language way more fast than staying in their own country. The world nowadays has become increasingly competitive along with the pace of globalization. Being competent with a secondary language could give students more opportunities in their future searching of employment. Secondly, developed countries such as the USA and the UK can offer better education to their students. As we know, most of the top 50 universities are located in these developed countries. Having a degree from these institutions would be a great privilege for students. This is probably why many Asian parents want to send their children to western countries.

To conclude, from my perspective, in case parents can afford the costs of their children’s education overseas, studying abroad would be a good choice for them considering what their children can gain from these experiences.

so do you think adv. outweigh the neg. ?! I couldn't find a direct answer
Nothing is impossible! Band score 9 is certainly not.
allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Re: Today's practice: letter + essay

Post by allen_zhang »

Thank you Johnson!

A few discussions:
This letter is kind of a memorized one of Simon's band 9 sample letters.
your fist comment:
original sentence:
I am writing to inform you my decision to leave ABC industries when my current contract comes to an end next month.
My version:
I am writing to inform you my decision of leaving ABC industry when my current contract comes to an end next month.
They are almost the same.

Your second comment:
Original sentence:
However, I feel now is the time to broaden my horizons and gain experience of different working environments and practices within our industry
My version:
However, I feel now is the time for me to experience different practices and working environments within our industry.
I agree his version is better, but my one seems Ok as well, right?

Your third comment:
Your second comment:
Original sentence:
I have learned incredibly amount.
My version:
I have learned immensely.
I feel they are almost the same.
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
Johnson zhang
Posts: 153
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 8:34 am

Re: Today's practice: letter + essay

Post by Johnson zhang »

No man....they aint' the same!

original sentence:
I am writing to inform you my decision to leave ABC industries when my current contract comes to an end next month.
very good
to do and when it is gonna happen


My version:
I am writing to inform you my decision of leaving ABC industry when my current contract comes to an end next month.
using of is a bad choice. Now your sentence is read as I'll inform _ when_ happens. awkward, it feels you are cramming information, thus i feel there r too much info in a single sentence as your ideas aren't clear.

Your second comment:
Original sentence:
However, I feel now is the time to broaden my horizons and gain experience of different working environments and practices within our industry
very easy to read! words here are put into contexts so they make sense

My version:
However, I feel now is the time for me to experience different practices and working environments within our industry.
what do you mean by it is the time to exp. diff. practices?

Original sentence:
I have learned incredibly amount.
implies that I learnt a lot of stuff

My version:
I have learned immensely.
i leant......(what?)
Last edited by Johnson zhang on Thu May 29, 2014 5:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Nothing is impossible! Band score 9 is certainly not.
allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Re: Today's practice: letter + essay

Post by allen_zhang »

Got it!
Highly appreciate....
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
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