grade it please

[neha]

Topic:
" TRAVEL


http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/download/file.php?id=171

[durai]

Hi,

Is it part 1 question, if yes, then your response is too long for part 1.

is it part 2, then provide full cue card.


Thanks

[neha]

Itis indeed ,the part 1 question. But i just for practice purpose recorded it long so i could talk about any topic in exam day. Except this could you suggest improvement areas and the deserving band please

[durai]

I would suggest you to do complete part 1 test , means 12 questions,

1st topic : work/hometown; 4 questions
2nd topic: your choice : 4 questions
3rd topic: your choice : again 4 questions

then its quite easy to assess you, its really hard to assess a person speaking ability with one question

I am also practicing to get band 8; if you prefer you can add me at skype: id: durai_ielts

If not interested then post your answers here, I try to look. With your sample I wouldn't see any problem with your pronunciation.


Good luck

Durai

[lmoore]

Hello, Neha,
I appreciate your sharing your speaking clip with us. Here are some comments to perhaps help you as you continue to study English.

Your overall fluency was good. You spoke quickly and clearly most of the time. In a couple of instances, I could not quite make out what you said. You might consider slowing down just a bit to ensure your pronunciation is understandable throughout your IELTS interview.

I can hear that you tried to use higher-level vocabulary, such as “compared to” and “developed countries.” However, a couple of times you used the words or phrases incorrectly. For example you said, “comparative to other countries” instead of “compared to other countries.” You also repeated “cheap” a couple of times within a minute, which means it would probably be a good idea to try to find a synonym for it, like “inexpensive.” Later, you said “more on,” and this should have been “moreover.”

There were a couple of issues with grammar and sentence structure, as well, that made some of your sentences difficult to understand. For example, you said, “While it’s not at all typical to travel in my country because the transportation rates are quite cheap, and you can travel by bus, motor, rickshaws, taxies, and, comparative to developed countries, Pakistan transportation rates are quite cheaper.” This is a very long, run-on sentence. The beginning of it does not make much sense, either. It sounds like you’re saying people don’t travel in your country much because it’s too cheap to do so. This is not logical. When you introduce a sentence with a clause like “While Mom was right about my riding my bike not being safe,” you make the reader think that an opposite idea that is connected to the first clause will be written, like, “I sure did have fun riding anyway.” This type of connection is not present in your sentence.

Another instance of this occurring is “More on, I can say that the rates are the cheapest, they are attracted and motivated the lower class to try themselves and not think about the money, but to think about their enjoyment and their own live.” Perhaps you mean to say that because the rates are inexpensive, the lower classes are motivated to use transportation and not have to worry too much about money. They can thus enjoy themselves and their liveS in general?

Another thought is that you should be very specific in your vocabulary. At the end of the speech, you said, “a positive kind of thing.” Try to avoid using “thing” and “stuff.” In this case, you might have said, “I think that the inexpensive rates make life easier for everyone in Pakistan, and they allow people to enjoy themselves.” You could also simply have said, “I think the inexpensive transportation rates in Pakistan have a positive impact on people’s personal lives as well as society in general.” This would have brought your speech to a solid conclusion.

Best wishes as you continue to practice!

[neha]

Thanks for such a detailed feedback