The system used for rubbish collection in your area is not working properly. This causing problem for you and your neighbors.
• Describe how the rubbish collection system is not working
• explain how this is affecting to you and your neighbors
• suggest what should be done for this problem
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing this letter for seeking your attention towards poor waste management system in my area. The major problem is with current waste collection is regarding its frequency. Garbage is being collected once in aweek that is not sufficient for even a small family.
Because of this, waste-bin near to my house is overflowed. It creates not only dirty streets but also produces bad odor. Moreover, stray animals exacerbated the situation by spreading the garbage to find the food.In this condition, it is very easy for many microbs to grow. Hence I alwase feel fear to live in this hostile condition.
I suppose you can solve this problem simply be increasing the garbage collection frequency. I and my neighbour reckon it should be increased for three days in a week. Although garbage collectors perform their job absolutely fine by completely emptying waste bin, It overflows just in three days due to very less trash collection rate. I felt increased rate of collection would act as a panacea for this pressing problem.
I hope for your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
Ronak Patel
please review Writing task 1 for general
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goldcoastielts
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- Location: Gold Coast, Australia
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Re: please review Writing task 1 for general
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Thanks for your submission ppatelronak!! Please see my rewrite below ...
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing this letter TO MAKE YOU AWARE OF THE poor waste management system in my area. The major problem (delete 'is') with current waste collection is with REGARDS TO ITS FREQUENCY / REGARDING ITS FREQUENCY; THE garbage is ONLY being collected once (delete 'in') a week, WHICH is not sufficient for even a small family.
Because of this PROBLEM, THE waste-bin near to my house is ALWAYS overflowING. It not only CREATES dirty streets but also produces A VERY bad odoUr IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD. Moreover, stray animals EXACERBATE the situation by THROWING the garbage AROUND to find (delete 'the') food.In this condition, it is very easy for GERMS AND DISEASE TO GET THE UPER HAND. FOR THESE REASONS, MANY PEOPLE IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD (MYSELF INCLUDED), ARE AFRAID TO CARRY ON LIVING HERE.
I suppose you can solve this problem bY SIMPLY increasing the garbage collection frequency. My neighbour AND I reckon it should be increased TO three days A/PER week. Although garbage collectors perform their jobS PROFESSIONALLY AND completely EMPTY THE waste binS, THEY STILL overflow AFTER just (delete 'in') three days due to THE very LOW RATE OF trash collection. I FEEL LIKE AN increased rate of collection would act as a panacea
for this pressing problem.
EAGERLY AWAITING your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
Ronak Patel
Advice:
1. Use some more interesting punctuation like - ;
2. Try to use one or two interesting idioms like "get the upper hand".
3. Add spaces between each of the three paragraphs.
4. Keep your adverbs immediately behind your verbs ("simply increasing", "not only creates")
Getting better!
Band-score:
TA: 6.5
G: 5.5
V: 6.5
CC: 6.5
Homepage: https://www.this-course.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbVrKy ... LmQirBfSTw
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thiscoursesocial/
Thanks for your submission ppatelronak!! Please see my rewrite below ...
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing this letter TO MAKE YOU AWARE OF THE poor waste management system in my area. The major problem (delete 'is') with current waste collection is with REGARDS TO ITS FREQUENCY / REGARDING ITS FREQUENCY; THE garbage is ONLY being collected once (delete 'in') a week, WHICH is not sufficient for even a small family.
Because of this PROBLEM, THE waste-bin near to my house is ALWAYS overflowING. It not only CREATES dirty streets but also produces A VERY bad odoUr IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD. Moreover, stray animals EXACERBATE the situation by THROWING the garbage AROUND to find (delete 'the') food.In this condition, it is very easy for GERMS AND DISEASE TO GET THE UPER HAND. FOR THESE REASONS, MANY PEOPLE IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD (MYSELF INCLUDED), ARE AFRAID TO CARRY ON LIVING HERE.
I suppose you can solve this problem bY SIMPLY increasing the garbage collection frequency. My neighbour AND I reckon it should be increased TO three days A/PER week. Although garbage collectors perform their jobS PROFESSIONALLY AND completely EMPTY THE waste binS, THEY STILL overflow AFTER just (delete 'in') three days due to THE very LOW RATE OF trash collection. I FEEL LIKE AN increased rate of collection would act as a panacea
for this pressing problem.EAGERLY AWAITING your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
Ronak Patel
Advice:
1. Use some more interesting punctuation like - ;
2. Try to use one or two interesting idioms like "get the upper hand".
3. Add spaces between each of the three paragraphs.
4. Keep your adverbs immediately behind your verbs ("simply increasing", "not only creates")
Getting better!
Band-score:
TA: 6.5
G: 5.5
V: 6.5
CC: 6.5
