TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Rukshana
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Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:39 pm

TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by Rukshana »

More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine.
Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world.
Do you agree or disagree?


Write at least 250 words.

Migration has been exercise since the dawn of time. People have been moving from one place or country to another for search of better life and earnings. In the Africa continent, for example, the Bantu people moved from Northern Africa to southern Africa decades ago. It is argued that rich countries are stealing from poor nations as the qualified people are moving there. However, migration is in our genes, people has been moving for years and will continue to move in the future. This will be proven by analyzing both the highly skilled worker that moved from the East to the West and the financial support it brings to the individual’s family that is left behind.

On the one hand, nations that have a lack of professional in Information Technology seek for potential candidates elsewhere. For example, the United States, advertised globally for Information Technology specialist as few Americans were expert in this field. As a result of this, many Indian specialized in the domain applied and migrated to the States. When looking at this example there is no doubt that people migrate from one place to another.

On the other hand, a worker in a foreign land is usually remunerated well above what they could expect in their home country. Take my colleague for instance, she is from Zimbabwe and she is now working in United Kingdom for the past 5 years. She has been living a decent life and sends money to her parents regularly to support them. It is obvious when looking at this example that migrating to an unknown land is beneficial to both the individual and their family. Thus, movement of worker from a poor country to a rich country is a natural phenomenon around the world.

After analyzing the areas shown above, it is clear that people moves constantly and it is predicted that this trend will continue as long as human exist.
(319 words)
Tina
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Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Re: TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by Tina »

your ideas and cohesion is good .
Rukshana
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:39 pm

Re: TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by Rukshana »

Thanks Tina.

This built up my confident for my exams which is on Saturday 21st Sept.

Cheers,
Ruks.
Tina
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Re: TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by Tina »

From which centre? Take care of time limits . It appears a long answer . Time is the most killing factor in exam. I think , this exam tests your nerves rather than english. I have tried my version in 45 minutes . Read and let me know your views.


Due to Globalization, it is not uncommon to see people migrating transcontinental. Historically, it is evident that migration is essential for human evolution. Many people believe that “Brain Drain” is not an acceptable concept however, some refute this and consider such movements as a natural instinct. It is argued that transcontinental migration is a natural phenomenon around the world. It will be analyzed in this essay that such migration of talent is beneficial to poor nations as well as the developed countries.

It is an inherent tendency of talented people to explore for better avenues in order to enhance their talent. This requires a basic infrastructure and it is usually available in developed countries. Because of limited resources in poor nation, it is possible that genius of the same country may elope. Talent can be enhanced with such migratory opportunities and such talented people can reciprocate their enhanced skills back to their poor nation. For example, Dr P Chidambaram, a famous nuclear scientist from India went to USA, for his training and experience. Later on he returned back to India and guided to develop a nuclear power plant of India itself. This example clearly shows that how such move, proved beneficial to both the countries.

On the other hand, such movements are equally beneficial to the visiting countries. For instance, National Health services in UK, a gold standard in health care system is backed up by significant number of Indian origin doctors. Doctors worked very hard to prove their mettle .In return NHS also pays them well, which helps these doctors to support their family back home financially. Hence, it is very obvious from the above example that such migration is beneficial to the countries they visited.

Following the analyses of above facts, it is evident that migration proves mutually beneficial and it is unfair to say that the rich countries are stealing the resources of poor countries. It is predicted that more and more exchange of human resources will continue, so far it promotes mutual growth across the countries.
Rukshana
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:39 pm

Re: TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by Rukshana »

Hi Tina,

Good Ideas, wide range of vocabulary...generally good essay.

I'm not from a centre. I'm learning on my own.

Where are u from? which country? I'm from Mauritius but currently in South Africa.

Cheers,
Rukshana.
Tina
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Re: TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by Tina »

I was asking about IELTS test centre ?
Rukshana
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:39 pm

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Post by Rukshana »

Cape Town, South Africa.
crissy80
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Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:58 am

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Post by crissy80 »

Hi rukshana.

Goodluck with your exams. I took ielts twice already, and, as an experienced ielts taker, my advice is to make sure you save a little time at the end to check for errors. I was so confident on my first take because I knew that I followed Ryan's advice on how to structure my essay. I am not saying that it is a bad thing, for it helped me a lot with managing my time. I finished it really fast but did not bother to check my work. Most common mistake is verb agreement. I think there are few on your essay here. I am not really an expert but I can point out some here.

people has been moving = people = plural so it should be "people have been"
people moves constantly = people move

You got it on your second sentence "People have been moving from one place" which makes me believe you know that people is plural. This only proves how important rechecking is.

I also believe that some words were inappropriately used and organized. Take for example "On the one hand, nations that have a lack of professional in Information Technology seek for potential candidates elsewhere" -Nations that lack professionals in Information technology" will have been better.

Good luck again and God bless.
crissy80
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:58 am

Re: TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by crissy80 »

another thing, make sure you use different sentence structures. make use of the conjunctions. http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/conjunctions.htm. hope this helps.
Rukshana
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:39 pm

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Post by Rukshana »

Hi Crissy,

Thanks for the advice. It means a lot to me. I will definitely check and re-check for errors.
crissy80
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:58 am

Re: TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by crissy80 »

hi rukshana,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFn4S3z_WO4.

have you watched this video? this helped me a lot on the exams. there is a chance you might feel nervous and this will help you get through it. Just make sure you use variety of sentence structures. i used this format on my first ielts exam and I got 6.5. Don't be scared to use simple words if doing so will make it easier for you to convey your thoughts. Goodluck. Please share your success story :)
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Ryan
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Re: TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by Ryan »

I am glad to hear the video was helpful, Crissy. I'll post it here in a manner that can be viewed without leaving the page:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFn4S3z_WO4

I'm going to put aside a few hours tonight (5 pm - 8 pm Doha time) and again tomorrow to provide some writing feedback.
Rukshana
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:39 pm

Re: TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by Rukshana »

Thanks to both of u, Ryan & Crissy, I have seen the video and will write my essay accordingly.

Thanks for the valuable inputs.
freeflydream
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Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2013 5:01 am

Re: TASK 2 ESSAY - PLEASE COMMENT

Post by freeflydream »

nice job.

however, i should say, it seems that you did not answer the question directly.

the request is discussing this view , rather than judging whether this trend will continue constantly.

so that at least the end of you article is not good.
you'd better give the clear opinion of that view. agree , disagree or half agree.

choose a side you stand on, it will be better.
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