Task 2 (268 word) Discuss advs and disadvs of moving abroad. Manuscript attached!

[AmmarSalmi]

Please evaluate my writing for IELTS task 2. I wrote it within 40 minutes. I cringed a lot as I retyped it from the manuscript as I noticed obvious mistakes. However, I stayed true to what I wrote within that period of time.

QUESTION
These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

I've also attached a scan of the manuscript. Please take a moment to check it and give me feedback on my handwriting too.
https://imgur.com/gallery/YgmEP

ANSWER

Many young men and women dream of a job opportunity or and education in overseas countries. While to a lot of them moving abroad is the perfect escape plan from their current lives, others argue that what's waiting for them on the far shores is anything but perfect. Both teams stupelate their opinion with solid arguments, from which this essay will mention a few.

Firstly, Developped countries certaily offer better living conditions. For example, in the third-world even water is a daily concern, but in western nations running water is not even a perk worth mentioning.

Secondly, universities in Europ and North-America have much higher rates of employment granted for Thier graduates. For instance, nine out of ten graduates from Harvard University find a job within the first year after graduation.

On the other hand, prejudicial discriminition in foreign coutnries is a serious problem. A fact that is proven by the latest statistics on hate crimes, which shows an alarming raise in crimes against foreigners and minorities members.

Furthermore, education overseas is insanely expensive. As an example, the enrollement fees for a master degree in Oxford University is worth three annual salaries of a middle-class employee in Algeria.

Moving abroad either to earn a living or ti earb a kuvugb ir ti get a resoected diploma has two sides. A bright one with worthy prospects, and a dark one with portenent concerns. However, it is clear to me the positive facet triumph over the negative one. People around the globe will keep on dreaming of a greener grass on the river. And greener it is.

Thank you in advance.