Task II (I need some advice on writing)

[biancarpin]

Some experts believe that it is better for childrean to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this overweigh the disadvantages?

There are some discussions regarding whether the children might learn a foreign language during the primary school or wait until the seconday school, when they are older and, consequently, more mature. Some people say the learning of a second language by a young child threatens the apprehension of her or his native language. However, from what I gather, it is extremely important for one to be in contact with other idioms as soon as possible.

First of all, the learning process of a language enables the person to improve her or his thinking skills. As a result, this enhancement makes the individual’s cognitive abilities greater. When you learn a new idiom, this development is even better, because the person is able to express her or his feelings, emotions and thoughts in many different ways. When the person manage this achievement since first years of childhood, he or she can exercise the intelligence, learn other subjects easier and become a person of success in the future.

Secondly, if a young child is in touch with a foreign language he or she will have the ability of talking with people from outside her or his own culture. Therefore, the child will be able to think outside the box, which is good for reducing prejudice and fear of what is new. Likewise, it will improve the boy’s or girl’s social skills and develop the emotional intelligence.

Thirdly, the sooner one learn a skill that will be required in the future, the better it is. Knowing how to read, write, speak and listen in other idiom is a necessity of the current professional market. As there are other abilities individuals must thrive, learning a foreign language in the childhood represents an economy and a great use of time. Hence, as a teenager, the person can use the time that would be reserved for learning a new language to develop different skills.

To sum up, it can be said that children should be in contact with a second language as soon as possible. The advantages of the learning process of a foreign language in the primary school overweigh the possible disadvantages of it. The development of the cognition, of the emotional intelligence and the economy of time overwhelm any opposite arguments on this subject.

[katsenis]

There are some discussions regarding whether the (There is no need for the definite article here.) children might learn a foreign language during the (no need for definite article here) primary school or wait until the (no need for definite article) secondary school, when they are older and, consequently, more mature. Some people say the learning of a second language by a young child threatens the apprehension of her or his native language. However, from what I gather, it is extremely important for one to be in contact with other idioms ('idioms' is not the word you want here. "languages" is the best word here) as soon as possible.

First of all, the learning process of a language enables the (since you are speaking of anyone, you want to use the article 'a' here) person to improve her or his thinking skills. As a result, this enhancement makes the individual’s cognitive abilities greater. When you learn a new idiom (language) , this development is even better, because the (a) person is able to express her or his feelings, emotions and thoughts in many different ways. When the (a) person manages this achievement since first years of childhood, he or she can exercise the (do not need 'the' here) [/color] intelligence, learn other subjects easier and become a person of success in the future. (This sentence has some diction problems perhaps a better sentence would be " When a person studies a new language from a young age, he or she can think critically, learn other subjects more easily, and prepare themselves for a successful future.)

Secondly, if a young child is in touch with a foreign language he or she will have the ability of talking with people from outside her or his own culture. Therefore, the child will be able to think outside the box, which is good for reducing prejudice and fear of what is new. Likewise, it will improve the boy’s or girl’s social skills and develop the emotional intelligence. (This is very well stated. Bravo!)

Thirdly, the sooner one learns a skill that will be required in the future, the better it is. Knowing how to read, write, speak and listen in other idiom another language is a necessity of for the current professional market because there are other abilities individuals must thrive be good at , learning a foreign language in childhood represents a great use of time. Hence, as a teenager, the person can use the time that would be reserved for learning a new language to develop different skills.

To sum up, it can be said that children should be in contact with a second language as soon as possible. The advantages of the learning process of a foreign language in the primary school overweigh outweigh the possible disadvantages of it. The development of cognition, of emotional intelligence and the economy of time overwhelm any opposite arguments on this subject.

This essay would likely earn the following grades:
Task Response: 7
Coherence and Cohesion: 7
Lexical Resource: 5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Vocabulary is very important for you to improve.
Be careful with 'a' and 'the'

[biancarpin]

Thank you so much!