Repost Task 2- Without the success of career, life becomes meaningless

[Xbb]

Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life.
Without the success of career, life becomes meaningless.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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It is thought by some that a career success plays the most paramount role in making people’s life become meaningful and satisfying. Whilst it may at first seem a reasonable opinion, I strongly disagree for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it could be seen that high achievers often receive widespread recognitions and privileges from other people in their daily life, which could indulge them to a much extent, but it actually could be lead to more potential risks of privacy invasion in the long run. Many successful individuals find their personal life being put under a microscope from the crowd, as an undesirable effect of their reputation, and consequently have limited freedom of choices in life. For instance, a great number of acclaimed celebrities and wealthy entrepreneurs have to refrain from visiting a variety of attractive tourism spots with sole aim to avoid their holidays being intruded by hordes of paparazzi and overly enthusiastic fans. As this shows, success could bring along enormous challenges to its owners to lead a peaceful and much freedom life.

Further, successful persons may have their working efforts highly appreciated and rewarded thanks to its positive influences on other people’s life, but it usually comes together with detrimental lifestyle of overworking. This is because after acing the top successes, those individuals have to shoulder the burden of maintaining their long-lasting achievements, which could result in an ever overwhelming workload. Eventually, they run the risks of facing an array of health issues triggered by tremendously mental stress and physical exhaustion, as an axiomatic repercussion, which caused some of them, namely Michael Jackson as an exemplar, even to die prematurely as a result of chronic stresses and derived diseases. Thus, it is clear that a glorious career could in fact result in considerable health risks for the high performers as a severe side effect.

In conclusion, I must affirm that whilst it is tempting to deem that success could bring its achievers a rewarding and meaningful life, in general, the overall drawbacks outweigh the merits.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

I think the key thing to note is that you have not referred in detail to any other forms of success apart from at work.

In the first paragraph, you seem to be focusing on a very select group of people. Do you mean that everyone who doesn't achieve fame is a failure?

I don't think that vocabulary is used to create an effective argument. It seems that you are using words because you know them rather than to answer the question.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life.
Without the success of career, life becomes meaningless.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
--------------------------------------- ************************ --------------------------------------

It is thought by some that a successful career plays the most paramount role in making a person's life meaningful and satisfying. Whilst it may at first seem a reasonable opinion, I strongly disagree for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it could be seen that high achievers often receive widespread recognition from other people in their daily life, which could indulge them to a large extent, but it could be lead to a lack of privacy in the long run. Many successful individuals find their personal life being put under a microscope by admirers as an undesirable effect of their reputation, and consequently have limited freedom of choice in life. For instance, a great number of acclaimed celebrities and wealthy entrepreneurs have to refrain from visiting a variety of attractive tourism spots in order to avoid their holidays being ruined by hordes of paparazzi and overly-enthusiastic fans. As this shows, success can cause enormous challenges to one's desire to lead a peaceful and free life.

Further, successful persons may have their working efforts highly appreciated and rewarded thanks to the positive influences on other people’s lives, but this success usually comes with the detrimental lifestyle of overworking. This is because after achieving the top successes, those individuals have to shoulder the burden of maintaining their long-lasting achievements, which could result in an ever-overwhelming workload. Eventually, they run the risks of facing an array of health issues triggered by tremendously mental stress and physical exhaustion, as an axiomatic repercussion, which may causesome of them, for example, Michael Jackson, to die prematurely as a result of chronic stress and derived diseases. Thus, it is clear that a glorious career could, in fact, result in considerable health risks for the high performers as a severe side effect.

In conclusion, I must affirm that whilst it is tempting to deem that success can bring its achievers a rewarding and meaningful life; in general, the overall drawbacks outweigh the merits.