please evaluate my essay

[jaggi7921]

some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The idea of providing online education facility by some universities has become quite fashionable. Whilst, I believe that distance learning has numerous benefits instead of their drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why I think that distance education helpful for students. Firstly, the availability of online courses. For example, the internet provides many features such as video conferencing and free-to-use group chats that helps those people who want to study but cannot leave their job. In other words. Individuals who are working at moment can easily enrolled in any course online. Secondly, students can get access to the lectures that delivered by the prominent professors of high standard universities which option is hardly available in traditional way of learning. Finally, distance learning also provide convenience, like students can join classes at any time and they don’t need to travel anywhere to attend those lectures.

On the other hand, there are also some downsides of online learning. The most obvious reason is that, people or students who take online courses for their study maybe don’t have the opportunity to do practical work. For example, in universities or schools there are proper practical classes where students have access to real life tools and they get experienced by utilizing these tools in a classroom instead of those who enrolled in distance learning lectures. Another unsupported point for distance education is that, students will not be able to participate actively in the discussion unlike in a traditional lecture done in a class. As a result, en-rollers to that distance learning courses has lack of personal interaction between their instructor and classmates.

In conclusion, it seems to me that learning online have their advantages along with disadvantages as discussed above.

[ted_ielts]

There's a problem in your introduction. The second sentence begins with "whilst" which is a subordinating coordinator. This makes the clause the follows it a dependent clause. As it's not joined to any other clause (like an independent clause) it is now a sentence fragment. This is a common mistake that needs to be avoided at all times.

[jaggi7921]

and what your view about second and third paragraphs????

[Flick]

some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The idea of providing an online education facility by some universities has become quite fashionable. Whilst, I believe that distance learning has numerous benefits instead of their drawbacks.(<--Reword to: "I believe that the benefits of distance learning outweigh the drawbacks.")

On the one hand, there are various reasons why I think that distance education is helpful for students. Firstly, the availability of online courses. For example, the internet provides many features such as video conferencing and free-to-use group chats that help those people who want to study but cannot leave their job. In other words, individuals who are currently working can easily enrol in any course online. Secondly, students can get access to lectures delivered by prominent professors of well-known universities, which is hardly available in the traditional way of learning. Finally, distance learning also provides convenience, as students can join classes at any time and they don’t need to travel anywhere to attend those lectures.

On the other hand, there are also some downsides of online learning. The most obvious drawback is that people or students who take online courses for their study may not have the opportunity to do practical work. For example, in universities and schools, there are proper practical classes where students have access to real life tools and they gain experience with these tools in a classroom, which distance learners do not have access to. Another disadvantage to distance education is that students are unable to participate actively in the discussion unlike in a traditional lecture held in a classroom. As a result, distance learning courses lack personal interaction between their instructor and classmates.

In conclusion, it seems to me that learning online has its advantages along with its disadvantages, as discussed above.