Capital punishment is essential to control violence and crime in society. Without enforcing capital punishment like death sentence our lives would become less secure and the number of crimes and violence in society would increase.
You should write at least 250 words.
My answer:
These days, the issue of death penalty has been escalating bigger and bigger. Many people have acceptable arguments. However, i do insist that capital punishment should not take place and i would like to explain the reason.
In aspects of the purpose of the punishment, it prevents the number of crimes from increasing as the punishment can put fear into people and therefore won't commit crimes. Furthermore, the government can control violence by adjusting the size of the punishment. Thereby, they can establish secure society and provide reliable environment to residency.
On the other hands, it is argued that there is the possibility of people who get wrongly jailed and there are numerous kinds of these people in prison. In addition, there are many cases that people lived as criminals and were later found innocent of their crimes. We can expect how many innocent people are spending their lives in jail. In terms of unavoidable crimes, I believe that some crimes, even murder, can justify appropriate situation even if the crime is committed by premeditation or not. Thus, lawmakers should make adequate laws to adjust the size of the punishment for them. For this reason, death sentence should not be enforced and Instead of death sentence, the government could use the criminals as labor force and it would contribute the development of the country.
In conclusion, capital punishment should be not conducted with any the possibility of people wrongly accused. The government could build a system that people who are guilty can pay the price for the crime.
Please evaluate my essay Thanks :)
-
David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Please evaluate my essay Thanks :)
Hello!
Your points are good, but I'm afraid that the excessive number of grammatical errors can interfere with meaning.
You do develop the points and vocabulary is used quite well.
Try not to have one main paragraph twice as long as the other.
Basically, time to get out the grammar books. I also suggest using a wider variety of modal verbs, which should help meaning become clearer.
All the best,
David
Your points are good, but I'm afraid that the excessive number of grammatical errors can interfere with meaning.
You do develop the points and vocabulary is used quite well.
Try not to have one main paragraph twice as long as the other.
Basically, time to get out the grammar books. I also suggest using a wider variety of modal verbs, which should help meaning become clearer.
All the best,
David