Please assess my Task 2 writing

[romanuncle]

Question -
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic.
Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines.

Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?


Answer -

Access to food, clean drinking water and roof over one’s head are the three basic necessities for a human being in today’s world as per World Health Organization. One wonders, have they forgotten that without sound health the above counts for nothing? Indeed, with advancements in the field of medicine, it is now possible to prevent a good portion of childhood diseases, some of these diseases are held accountable for taking as many infant lives as World War 1 and 2 combined.
Imagine, an uneducated couple in rural India who after a fair few trips to the fertility clinic and Temples are blessed with a healthy baby girl. As the girl starts growing, the parents notice she isn’t able to walk straight, as days go on, her funny gait has now turned into a full blown visible disability. And all this for what? Just because there was no one to inform the parents about Polio disease and how you can protect your child from it by taking her to a doctor who’d administer polio dots and the child would forever be safe from this crippling disease.
Here’s where the role of the Government comes in. If the Government makes not administering vaccines to children a criminal offence for their parents, a large amount of children will live a full life without disability today. The need of setting up such laws is immense when a good amount of your population is uneducated and is not aware of the diseases that could plague their children if they did not get them vaccinated.
In developing nations, there is an idea that the uneducated or perhaps, the orthodox people of the society harbour, that they grew up without the aid of any vaccines, and so will their children. Or maybe, the sight of their child's tears at the touch of that pin prick convinces them of not giving the kid any more vaccines or maybe the cost of the vaccine is what encourages them to take this risk of playing their own child’s life and future. Whatever the reason may be, it should never be left up to the parent or guardian to decide whether they must immunize their children or not. Giving birth does not equal owning.

[Flick]

Question -
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic.
Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines.

Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?


Answer -

Access to food, clean drinking water and a roof over one’s head are the three basic necessities for a human being in today’s world as per the World Health Organization. One wonders, have they forgotten that without sound health, the above counts for nothing? Indeed, with advancements in the field of medicine, it is now possible to prevent a good portion of childhood diseases, some of which are held accountable for taking as many infant lives as World Wars 1 and 2 combined.

Imagine, an uneducated couple in rural India who, after a fair few trips to the fertility clinic and Temples, is blessed with a healthy baby girl. As the girl starts growing, the parents notice she isn’t able to walk straight. As days go on, her funny gait has now turned into a full-blown visible disability. And all this for what? Just because there was no one to inform the parents about Polio disease and how you can protect your child from it by taking her to a doctor who’d administer polio dots and the child would forever be safe from this crippling disease.

Here’s where the role of the Government comes in. If the Government makes not administering vaccines to children a criminal offence for their parents, a large amount of children will live a full life without disability today. The need to set up such laws is immense when a good amount of your population is uneducated and is not aware of the diseases that could plague their children if they do not get them vaccinated.

In developing nations, there is an idea that the uneducated or perhaps, the orthodox people of the society harbour, that they grew up without the aid of any vaccines, and so will their children. Or maybe, the sight of their child's tears at the touch of that needle prick convinces them to not give the kid any more vaccines, or maybe the cost of the vaccine is what encourages them to take this risk of playing with their own child’s life and future.

Whatever the reason may be, it should never be left up to the parent or guardian to decide whether they must immunize their children or not. Giving birth does not equal owning.