Please assess my writing task 2 and give some feedback. I will be profoundly grateful for you support.

[altinbek11]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
It is thought by some pedagogical experts that teaching a foreign language at elementary schools is more effective than teaching at secondary schools. While there is clearly a drawback to this, I personally believe that the benefits are more significant.
The disadvantage of teaching a foreign language before a secondary education is that worldwide languages such as English may predominate over the other languages through young children. In order to hand the language and its uniqueness down to next generations, young children should learn their native language firstly without any languages impact. By this, we mean that if primary schools teach a foreign language, it might endanger their native languages.
Despite this, there are significant advantages of being bilingual when studying at school. First, learning the second language encourages students to explore the world and understand other cultures before they find their own identity. It must be said that monolingual students have access to only resources which prepared in their native language. In other words, bilingual students could widen their range of knowledge through the second language which paves the way to see other aspects of life. Another argument is that young children are more able to learn a new language quickly than adults.
In addition to this, bilingualism and learning a foreign language enhance the intelligence of students. Research by Cambridge University psychologists reveal that bilingual students are better at problem-solving and IQ than their peers who are monolingual. This means studying a foreign language also contribute to the cognitive development of students, which concerned by some experts that it is crucial for their career progression and academic achievement.
In conclusion, I would argue that although there is a disadvantage of the teaching a foreign language at an early stage of age, they are outweighed by the advantages. It can improve intelligence and give a chance to understand the world as possible as early.

[Flick]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is thought by some pedagogical experts that teaching a foreign language at elementary schools is more effective than teaching it at secondary schools. While there is clearly a drawback to this, I personally believe that the benefits are more significant.

The disadvantage of teaching a foreign language before a secondary education is that worldwide languages such as English may predominate over the other languages through young children.(<--I don't understand this sentence. What is '...other languages through young children.'? How can languages go 'through' children?) In order to pass a language and its uniqueness down to the next generation, young children should learn their native language first before any other languages. By this, we mean that if primary schools teach a foreign language, it might endanger their native language.

Despite this, there are significant advantages of being bilingual when studying at school. First, learning a second language encourages students to explore the world and understand other cultures before they find their own identity. It must be said that monolingual students have access to only resources which are available in their native language. In other words, bilingual students can widen their range of knowledge through the second language, which paves the way to see other aspects of life. Another argument is that young children are able to learn a new language faster than adults.

In addition to this, bilingualism and learning a foreign language enhances the intelligence of students. Research by Cambridge University psychologists reveal that bilingual students are better at problem-solving and IQ than their monolingual peers. This means studying a foreign language also contributes to the cognitive development of students, which is believed by some experts to be crucial for their career progression and academic achievement.

In conclusion, I would argue that although there is a disadvantage of teaching a foreign language at an early stage, it is outweighed by the advantages. It can improve intelligence and give a chance to understand the world as early as possible.