please review my GT task 2- Appreciate

[DJvj]

Topic:-
The environment we live in is in danger due to various problems. What are the underlying causes? Who is responsible to combat this? What measures?

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Humans are improving their standards of living by overseeing the impact caused by them to the environment.It is not affecting them but the entire ecosystem for the living beings.This essay will provide the reason behind it and the measures that can be taken up to address these problems.

There are several reasons behind it. Firstly, people are constructing skyscrapers without thinking about the challenges it brings. People are cutting down the trees and making it as a concentre jungle.Children and senior citizens are finding difficulty to roam or play around freely. For instance, in urban cities like Bangalore, it 's hard to find a park around which was formerly known as a garden city.

Another reason is, increased in the vehicular movement on the roads. The majority of the population is migrating to urban cities due to which they rely heavily on their personal vehicle to be independent. Therefore, it contributes to the air and noise pollution and even increases the commuting time. For instance, In Bangalore thousands of vehicles are being registered on a day to day basis and traffic hits poorly during peak hours.

To conclude, I firmly believe as we are responsible for these issues and we should be able to protect by doing our bit. Therefore, the government should have stringent laws to regulate it. It will be a collaborative effort to ensure that we make the place livable and safer for present and the future generation.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

You haven't really dealt with the second and third questions. Regarding the second question, you hint that we are all responsible, but are we all EQUALLY responsible? To be honest, the suggestion that more laws will solve the problem is weak. In countries like India and China, corruption is at such a level that any new laws are likely to be designed to benefit certain influential people.

The idea that people rely on their cars/motorbikes more in cities is also weak. Public transport should be better in cities, right?

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Topic:-
The environment we live in is in danger due to various problems. What are the underlying causes? Who is responsible to combat this? What measures?

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Humans are improving their standards of living by trying to reduce the impact caused by them to the environment. It is not affecting them but the entire ecosystem for the living beings.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) This essay will provide the reason behind this attitude, and the measures that can be taken up to address these problems.

There are several reasons behind this environmental decline. Firstly, people are constructing skyscrapers without thinking about the challenges they cause. People are cutting down trees and creating a concrete jungle. Children and senior citizens are finding it difficult to explore and play freely. For instance, in urban cities like Bangalore, it's hard to find a park in a place that was formerly known as a garden city.

Another reason is the increased traffic on the roads. The majority of the population is migrating to urban cities where they rely heavily on their personal vehicle to be independent. Therefore, it contributes to the air and noise pollution and even increases commuting time. For instance, in Bangalore, thousands of vehicles are being registered on a daily basis, and traffic is overwhelming during peak hours.

To conclude, I firmly believe that we are responsible for these issues and we should be able to protect the environment with some simple changes. Therefore, the government should have stringent laws to regulate pollution. It will be a collaborative effort to ensure that we make the world livable and safer for present and the future generations.