T1

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Shokir
Posts: 43
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2016 8:47 am

T1

Post by Shokir »

The given graph depicts data on unemployed citizens of both USA and Japan between 1993 and 1999 years.
Overall, the assessment of unemployment rate was taken place on every March over the period.
Starting from Japan, whose unemployed inhabitants’ rate saw stable increase, it rose from 2,5% to about 4,5% by March of 1996. Then after a considerable decrease it soon recovered its quantity of 1996’s in the years of 1997-98. By 1999 unemployed workforce reached the number of 5.0%
As about USA its unemployed citizens’ number reduced over the period, in contrast with Japanese. First three years were followed as follows: 7.0%, 6.0% and 5.5%. Afterwards, after a slight rise it went dawn to the previous rate of 5.5% in 1996 and accounted for just over 5.0% in 1997. In the years of 1998-99 USA had as many unemployed workforce as Japan.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: T1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

The big problem with this report is the overview (second sentence - Overall ...). This fails to note the key trends and only mentions an irrelevant fact.

The main paragraphs need a little more detail. Words that are used incorrectly include (suggestions in brackets) inhabitants (workers), quantity (level), and number (percentage/proportion).

There are also numerous errors, some of them basic.

So, overall, not so great, but with a better overview and improved vocab/grammar, this could be a very good response.

All the best,
David
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