Please assess my writing task 1.

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
fasah
Posts: 20
Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2015 9:13 pm

Please assess my writing task 1.

Post by fasah »

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The given line graph demonstrates the pattern of energy utilisation since 1980 in USA,with predictions till the year 2030. Quadrillion units are used to express measurements.

It can be observed clearly that in 2030 petroleum will be the chief source of fuel, generating around 47 quadrillion units. Coal and natural gas will be next major alternatives. The contribution by them is estimated approximately 30 and 25 quadrillion units respectively. Whereas, the other minor resources like nuclear energy, solar/wind and hydropower projects are projected to contribute around 7 to 5 units for the production of energy in USA, by 2030.

Surprisingly, only minor changes exists in the past when we compare it with future trend. Petroleum was used preferably even in 1980, generating 35 quadrillion units. The usage showed moderate dipping and picking over the following years, but started to rise in a regular manner after 1995, from a low of 34 units.

To add to this,natural gas produced 20 quadrillion units and coal just 4 units less in 1980. however, with the passage of time the trend for both showed overlapping. It happened only after 2015, that the consumption of natural gas is plateaued at 25 units whereas, coal rising above it.

Furthermore, the remaining three sources like nuclear energy, solar/ wind and hydropower stations contributed not more than 5 units in 1980, similar to their future predictions.
Attachments
Academic_IELTS_Writing_task_1_Sample_105.jpg
Academic_IELTS_Writing_task_1_Sample_105.jpg (34.71 KiB) Viewed 761 times
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please assess my writing task 1.

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, quite good, but you should include more detail, especially when discussing the alternative energy sources. I know they are less significant, but they are on the chart, so describe the developments.

Replace 'dipping and picking' with 'fluctuation'. Generally, good vocabulary and grammar with only minor errors that do affect comprehension.

All the best,
David
User avatar
Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Please assess my writing task 1.

Post by Flick »

fasah wrote:The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given line graph demonstrates the pattern of energy utilisation since 1980 in USA,with predictions until the year 2030. Quadrillion units are used to express measurements.

It can be observed clearly that in 2030, petroleum will be the chief source of fuel, generating around 47 quadrillion units. Coal and natural gas will be the next major alternatives. Their contribution is estimated to be approximately 30 and 25 quadrillion units respectively. However, the other minor resources like nuclear energy, solar/wind and hydropower are projected to contribute around 5 to 7 units for the production of energy in USA by 2030.

Surprisingly, only minor changes exists in the past when we compare it with the future trend. Petroleum was preferred even in 1980, generating 35 quadrillion units. The usage showed moderate rises and falls over the following years, but started to rise in a regular manner after 1995, from a low of 34 units.

To add to this, natural gas accounted for 20 quadrillion units and coal just 4 units less in 1980. However, with the passage of time the trend for both overlapped. Only after 2015, did the consumption of natural gas plateau at 25 units while coal continued to rise steadily.

Furthermore, the remaining three sources, nuclear energy, solar/wind power and hydropower stations contributed not more than 5 units in 1980, similar to their future predictions.
Post Reply