Pls assess Task 1: consists of 1 graph & 1 table. TQ!

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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plin0627
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 9:54 am

Pls assess Task 1: consists of 1 graph & 1 table. TQ!

Post by plin0627 »

IMG_4665 [219044].jpg
IMG_4665 [219044].jpg (96.26 KiB) Viewed 1134 times
The line graph outlines the global water use by three sectors in a century while the table demonstrates the water consumptions of 2 nations in 2000.

As can be seen from the graph, three sectors’ water usage experienced a growing trend throughout the century. The agriculture’s water consumption was at a higher level, growing marginally from approximately 500km3 (1900) and shot up to nearly 2900km3 (2000). In 1900, the industrial’s water usage (around 100km3) was bigger than the domestic’s one (about 50km3). Both segments had a slow improvement by 1950. However, their water consumptions consistently rose to 1000km3 (industrial) and roughly 400km3 (domestic) in 2000.

The population, irrigated land and water use per person in Brazil and Congo were being analysed during 2000. Brazil’s land size was significantly larger (26500km2) and that their population was correspondingly huge too (176 million). Accordingly, a Brazilian consumed 359m3 of water. In contrast, Congo’s population (5.2 million) and land (100km3) were in smaller sizes, with only 8m3 of water consumption per person.

Overall, the agriculture’s water usage was the greatest and followed by the industrial and the domestic sectors. Meanwhile, the population, land size and water use in Brazil were relatively higher than that of Congo.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Re: Pls assess Task 1: consists of 1 graph & 1 table. TQ!

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, quite good. I think that you could have compared the different uses in the line chart more and more clearly noted he change in the rate of increased use.

Watch out for small mistakes (water consumptionS - no 's' required!). Vocabulary and grammar are generally good, despite those kinds of errors.

All the best,
David
plin0627
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 9:54 am

Re: Pls assess Task 1: consists of 1 graph & 1 table. TQ!

Post by plin0627 »

Thanks David! The thing is if I extend the elaboration more detail, I wonder the word count is going to be too much as now the word count below is 202. What do you suggest?
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