Hi, can somebody check this letter.

[ERSan Diego]

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:
⦁ give details of your study plans
⦁ explain why you want to get a part-time job
⦁ suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Dear Rita
It is nice to reach out you again, It is been son long since you came to my house to visit me. I am writing this letter because I am planning to do a Spanish program in Venezuela, and I decided to take the course in Merida, considering that you live there and we can spend time together. The study will be for six months, starting on August 15. Because of this, I will need to find a job that helps me to cover my expenses. I was thinking of a part-time activity, may be in the hospitality venue because ,as you know, I have experience in this environment. Moreover, I believe that this will improve my speaking and help me to reduce my accent.
I would be glad if you could guide me trough this project. I have not done my resume because I am not clear what is the outline to use. If you could send me a scheme which I can follow would be really useful for me. Furthermore, I would appreciate if you could tell me what are the best areas to look for, based on safety, public transportation, and food sources. I need to narrow the search because the city is quite big, and finally, I want to ask you if I may provide your contact details for further recommendations. I can not wait to see you again, I am really excited to live this new adventure with you.
I look forward to your response,
Best Regards,
Esther Ramirez

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, not too good. In the first half, you do not really give much detail about your course, e.g. exact location.

In the second half, it is actually quite difficult to understand what you mean. Project? Scheme? Areas?

There is some good vocabulary (narrow the search) and grammar, but the content certainly needs revamping.

All the best,
David

[ERSan Diego]

Hi thank you david, how do you think is my score for this letter. I need to get 7 and I have taken the test 3 times already. But I do not know how improve