Q. Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?
Many parents believe that having a part time job during vacations for their kids is certainly conducive to their growth in many aspects. However, others insist that studying should take precedence over an experience by having a part time job, since studying can guarantee a better income in their future career. In this article, I will deal with drawbacks and benefits that I can expect from the issue.
To begin with, it is very evident that students who had a part time jos during their vacations are able to gain a variety of experiences. Such experiences are hardly obtained through the class, since the key of the current education system is mainly to develop students' intellectual ability. For example, I had worked in construction site for my summer vacation in high school, At the time, I did not anticipate that this experience will be connected with my future career but when I seek to find a job in construction companies, I was an advantageous in comparison to other candidates who are lack of pre-experience
Despite the fact that there are many advantages in having a part time job, nobody cannot deny the fact that there are some drawbacks as well in having a part time job. First and foremost, children need to sacrifice their time to study for having a part time job, which might result in losing their competitiveness in study. For instance, my high school friend who have ranked at the top in my class have worked in game room as a part time worker for his vacation. However, he was mesmerized with the game and spent most of his time to play a computer game, which make him fail to get an admission from the university.
In conclusion, it is clear that students having a part time job during a vacation had negative effects as well as positive ones. What is more important is how to benefit from the positive effects while minimizing the negative ones, which is right attitude for the part time job.
General Writing Task 2 : Part time job in their free time
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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Re: General Writing Task 2 : Part time job in their free time
Hello!
Overall, quite good, but you have failed to state how the first and second main paragraphs relate to each other and to your conclusion. In the first, you say it increases competitiveness, yet you then say the opposite in the seocnd - so which is it? If it depends on circumstances, which circumstances?
Therefore, although vocabulary and grammar look good, they are not used to create and effective arguement, which is the primary aim of a good writer in IELTS Task 2.
All the best,
David
Overall, quite good, but you have failed to state how the first and second main paragraphs relate to each other and to your conclusion. In the first, you say it increases competitiveness, yet you then say the opposite in the seocnd - so which is it? If it depends on circumstances, which circumstances?
Therefore, although vocabulary and grammar look good, they are not used to create and effective arguement, which is the primary aim of a good writer in IELTS Task 2.
All the best,
David