Kindly assess my writing. My target is band 8 in writing.

[Dr.Khurram]

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Punishment is the method which is employed by the society to deter crimes. However some commentators are of the view that it is totally unjust to punish murders with capital punishment and that should be replaced by life sentence, while some people opine that death penalty is most appropriate course of action. In this essay, I shall examine number of reasons to support my point of view, that these criminals should be punished by life sentence.
Firstly, as crime is prevalent in most parts of world so it is totally imprudent to turn blind eye towards this exigent matter. Moreover murder is one the most serious crime. In most part of world this crime is punished by Capital punishment, which itself have some drawbacks, firstly there is always some minimal chance that criminal which is going to be hanged, has been falsely imprisonment. So, it is totally injustice to kill some innocent person. Furthermore, on many occasions people are committed of crime without taking into consideration of circumstances under which murder was done. For example a study conducted by Harvard law school shows that among all the people given capital punishment in New Jersey in 2014, 24 people committed murder in self-defense. At the same time it is also possible to put these criminals into rehabilitation program, so they can be reintegrated into the society. Therefore, to sum up it is clearly the case that death punishment should be replaced by life imprisonment.
Some critics argue that, putting such a large number of dangerous criminals into prisons will increase financial burden on Government. Similarly proponents of death penalty also say that there is a chance that these serial criminals can escape the prison and subsequently again commit crimes. So to sum up, these imprisoned criminals will continue to remain as a dreadful threat to society.
In conclusion, although there are reasons for and against the life sentence, i strongly believe in the light of aforementioned arguments that it is more beneficial for society as a whole that these criminals should be punished by life in prison.

[Prefer Ndabambi]

Hi...m also a student but I think your grammar needs attention

[Flick]

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Punishment is the method which is employed by society to deter crimes. However, some commentators are of the view that it is totally unjust to punish murders with capital punishment and that it should be replaced by a life sentence, while some people opine that the death penalty is the most appropriate course of action. In this essay, I shall examine a number of reasons to support my point of view, that these criminals should be punished by a life sentence.

Firstly, as crime is prevalent in most parts of world, it is totally imprudent to turn a blind eye towards this exigent matter. Moreover, murder is one of the most serious crimes. In most parts of the world this crime is punished by capital punishment, which itself has some drawbacks. Firstly, there is always some minimal chance that criminal who is sentenced to death has been falsely imprisoned. So, it is totally unjust to kill an innocent person. Furthermore, on many occasions people have been found guilty without taking into consideration the circumstances under which murder was done. For example, a study conducted by Harvard Law School shows that among all the people given capital punishment in New Jersey in 2014, 24 people committed murder in self-defense. At the same time, it is also possible to put these criminals into a rehabilitation program, so they can be reintegrated into society.

Therefore, to sum up it is clearly the case that death sentences should be replaced by life imprisonment. Some critics argue that putting such a large number of dangerous criminals into prisons will increase the financial burden on the government. Similarly, proponents of the death penalty also say that there is a chance that these serial criminals can escape prison and subsequently again commit crimes. So to sum up, these imprisoned criminals will continue to remain a dreadful threat to society.

In conclusion, although there are reasons for and against the life sentence, I strongly believe in the light of the aforementioned arguments that it is more beneficial for society as a whole that these criminals should be punished by life in prison.