David Sir, Pls access task 2 for Band 8

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
meenago
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 12:11 pm

David Sir, Pls access task 2 for Band 8

Post by meenago »

Please indicate my errors and advice for improvement to achieve band 8.

Q - In many countries, prison is considered the best way to decrease crime. However education is often argued to be a more effective way . Which do you agree ?

Imprisonment has been a widely used method to control crime in many countries. Despite the fact that it's presence is quite apparent in our judicial system today, it is strongly argued that education can be a much effective solution to prevent crime. This can be further elaborate with reasons relating to the effects of increased awareness in public as well as education programs for criminals.

To begin with, lack of awareness and ignorance towards various preventive measures, has proven to be a major cause for the occurrence of a crime at the first place. According to a survey conducted in America, implementation of Adult Education Program in local community and Parent Awareness Program in local schools, helped to drop the crime rate by 60% in downtown area of Chicago, Illinois, USA in 2010. Unfortunately, this might have caused some financial burden to the Government, however, it's effective results were quite evident. Hence, mass education can be a better alternative to crime prevention.

Furthermore, nowadays, rehabilitation programs for criminals are also considered to be an effective crime prevention practice. Recently, in Canada, government has invested 100 million dollars in many social skills and training programs for the benefits of young offenders. These rehabilitation strategies focus on changing individual offenders so they will not continue their criminal activities. Such educative options helps in changing criminal behavior and thus, resultant in low crime rate in future.

In summary, sentencing is essential for a committed crime as a corrective measure, however, prevention is far better option to decrease crime and that can be achieved by promoting various educational programs for general public as well as criminals.
meenago
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 12:11 pm

Re: David Sir, Pls access task 2 for Band 8

Post by meenago »

Please Help !!
If any examiner can help in checking this essay for band 8.
Corrections, suggestions are highly appreciated.
Thanks
meenago
Post Reply