please guys asses my writing task 2 thanks in advance

[Albert]

Topic:Unemployment is one of the most serious problems facing developed nations today.What are the advantages and disadvantages of reducing working hours to 35 hours?

In contemporary world, many nations are engrossed by the mission of combating climbing unemployment rates effectively.While there is compelling evidence that reduced working hours bring apparent benefits including more leisure time and higher job satisfaction for employees,however, it is important to note the several limitations of this trend.

To begin with, the most significant advantage of shorter work hours is that it grants the people in unemployment with a chance of having more free time for other activities such as entertainment and household chores.This results in the imporement of one's work-life balance.Moreover, another positive side of the given approach can be the possibilty of deriving contentment from work that leads to the enhancement of employees' productivity as well as having effect on the eradication of the problem associated with managing the workload.

Nevertheless, despite certain benefits, thirty five hours a week jobs pose several unfavourable after-effects for part-time workers, namely lower salaries. The given major disadvantage generates financial difficulties for most families with a single breadwinner.In addition to this, making less contact with one's employer and colleagues at work is considered to be one more negative side of diminished working hours. Eventually, this can stimulate grimmer promotional prospects for potential workers and misunderstanding among the staff.

Although part-time employment brings obvious advantages, some disadvantages of it should also be taken into account involving meagre income and worsened cooperation at workplace among the members of a company where there is a system under which they operate fewer hours.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, a good essay. I think the argument about "more time = better co-operation" is unclear and needs explanation, but the other points are good.

Vocabulary and grammar are both good with mistakes not interfering with comprehension or meaning.

All the best,
David

[Albert]

Thanks David for your feedback!