writing task 2 please assess it and grade it out of 9 bands

[wajidnaeem]

In many countries prison is the most common solution to crime problems. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion.
In today's world,the crime rates are ever increasing and many countries Across the globe are implementing new measures To tackle these problems . Many different laws Have already been introduced to reduce the crime rates.Nowadays,many people consider that giving prison time can only decrease the crime rates while others Suggest that providing inmates With better education Can help them to rehabilitate and by doing so,they can learn to live in a society again and I completely agree to this statement.Let's Discuss this in detail below.
Firstly,a quality education can help the prisoners to become better people than they were before as it can motivate them to thrive for a better future.For instance,a person behind bars has a better chance at improving themselves and this can be done by guiding them to the right path. It has been proved by the statistics that people who get counselling during prison time can actually make progress later during their lifetime.This proves that education of any sort can help people behind bars and it is one of the effective way to rehabilitate these people.
Secondly,people who go to jails are often drop outs from schools and colleges and by educating them during their sentence time can give them a chance to use the knowledge After they are freed from prison.For example,People who are able to do the degrees in prisons Can make use of them after they go back into society and it Help them to find work and make a better living.This can prove beneficial towards the individual as well as it can also benefit the society they reside in .
In conclusion,prisoners can be fruitful members of communities,once they are given the right education which can broaden their Point of view about life as well as it can also provide them with a better Way of living . It is supported that providing counselling courses can make our visible change in reducing crime as well as it can also increase the literacy rate among general population.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Vocabulary and grammar are very good.

There are 2 versions of this question - one asking about education in prison and one about education preventing crime. I suspect that you are answering the second one. If you are answering the first, no problem. If the latter, you haven't answered the question.

All the best,
David

[wajidnaeem]

can you kindly grade it out of 9 bands