working parents Task 2

[raghadmamd]

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents absence.
Discus both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent decades, human needs have increased dramatically and the competition for higher lifestyles has emerged. It is now more popular to see both parents are working with many people accept their reasons. While others believe that children will be affected by their absence. In this essay, I will explain both points of view and give my opinion.

It is now the norm to see both parents are working to make their needs end. A growing number of people thinks that by this way their children will benefit more as their parents can buy them more luxuries such as video games and mobiles. Another reason may be that they can enjoy foreign holidays. In this situation they should keep enough time for their children to know their feelings and any problems facing them.
Another group argues that the mother should be at home to care for her children. They have the belief that if the mother is working she would not have time to follow her children and enjoy with them in their childhood. Some others think that if both parents are working they might need to leave their children with housemaid and their main role will be minimized. In my personal experience, I was born in a family with both parents working but we do not have much troubles in our childhood in addition to that my parents till now is looking after all of us.

To conclude, working of both parents is considered now as a necessity for increased demands. There are advantages for the childern like more luxury and disadvantages like less care by their parents. In my personal viewpoint, I strongly agree with working both parents.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

There is almost no development in the main paragraph. I honestly thought I was reading a very long introduction! You need to explain WHY people hold these opinions, whether these opinions are really justified, and your personal view on the weight of these opinions.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents absence.
Discus both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent decades, human needs have increased dramatically and the competition for higher lifestyles has emerged. It is now more popular to see both parents are working with many people accept their reasons.(<--Reword to: "It is becoming increasingly common for both parents to work, instead of one staying home to care for their children.") However, some people believe that the children will be affected by their absence. In this essay, I will explain both points of view and give my opinion.

It is now the norm to see both parents working to make ends meet. A growing number of people think that their children will benefit more from this as their parents can buy them more luxuries such as video games and mobiles. Another reason may be that they can enjoy foreign holidays. In this situation they should put aside enough time to spend with their children to know their feelings and any problems they face.

Another group argues that the mother should be at home to care for her children. They have the belief that if the mother is working she will not have time to be with her children and enjoy their childhood. Some others think that if both parents are working they might need to leave their children with a housemaid and their main role will be minimized. In my personal experience, I was born in a family with both parents working but we did not have many troubles in our childhood. in addition to that my parents till now is looking after all of us.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)

To conclude, working of both parents is considered now as a necessity for increased demands.(<--Reword to: "To conclude, as needs and wants increase, it is becoming more common to see both parents working.") There are advantages for the children, like more luxury, and disadvantages like less care by their parents. In my personal viewpoint, I strongly agree with having both parents work.