Appreciate you help to assess my task 2 general training on tourism

[leodibkk]

Hi David,

Really appreciate if you can assess my writing task 2 as below:

Some people believe the benefits of tourism outweigh the problems it creates in a particular place. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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For years, tourism has been considered as a vital business to many places. It is commonly believed by many that the interests of this industry has outweigh its drawbacks. However, others argue otherwise. In this essay, both standpoints will be discussed prior to withdrawing a conclusion.

On the one hand, with the increasing number of tourists, many cities have been rapidly developed. Take Chiang Mai for instance, which used to be a small underdeveloped city, has been recently overwhelmed by the tremendous amount of travelers who have piqued the need of area development. As a result, several guest houses, hotels as well as resorts have been built. In addition to that, convenient stores have been opened such as Family mart, 7/11 to cater the demand of the visitors. Hence, not only does this build up the city to be a modern one, but it also financially improves the life of the locals.

On the other hand, from the standpoint of environmentalists, the tourism business has caused environmental consequences. For instance, streams and forests in Chiang Mai have been polluted by colossal amount of trash that was left behind by travelers. As a consequence, water and land are seriously in pollution. Additionally, vast amount of visitors mean the need of transportation, hence, lots of motorbikes and Tuk Tuk have been in use to serve the demand. Consequently, the emission of these vehicles has led to serious air pollution in the city.

In the end, as has been pointed out, although tourism brings benefits, it does not make sense, in a long term consideration, if environment has to pay for its environmental impacts. Thus, it is strongly argued that the drawbacks of this industry have taken over the position of its advantages. It is predicted that if authorities take strategic steps to preserve environment along with the development of tourism, this business will be sustainably beneficial.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Introduction - withdrawing?!

First main paragraph- piqued? convenience, not convenient.

Overall, a good essay. Points are clear and developed to some extent. Grammar and vocab errors do not generally interfere with meaning.

I think that you could have suggested why the negative effects in Chiang Mai have not been addressed by the government already.

Well done!
David

[monir301]

Hi,

I would like to share some drawbacks of turism

For example,in Brisiri, a well-known place in Bangladesh, most of the people leave their previous work. Currently they engaged themselves only helping the tourists. As a result ,we are depriving of many things.